Having spent all of my short marriage desperate to get our sex life underway and start improving it so that I can enjoy it too, I've now reached a point where I'm wondering what's the point.
Our longest time without sex was 13 weeks earlier this year, but we have sex on average every 6 or 7 weeks, despite the fact that we've been married less than 2 years. I've been desperate and frustrated about this situation and have spoken to LD Husband about it several times. I've been careful to be sensitive and take his feelings into consideration, but the last time we discussed this I let him know that I don't feel that we have a proper marriage adn that if the situation does not improve I'm going to need to look elsewhere for sex. We're both in our mid fifties, I'm fit as a fiddle while he has heart problems, an appalling diet and drinks half a bottle of whiskey most nights. During the talks we've had about this, he's got upset and apologised for not looking after himself better during his earlier years and promised to do something about his health and drinking. He hasn't cut down on the drinking, hasn't changed his diet and has not started any exercise regime that would lead to a fitter, healthier lifestyle. He sits around reading most days until he's exhausted and has to go and lie down at about 7 or 8pm. He's also pretty soap-shy and will only bathe or shower when I insist. When I recently left him to make up his own mind when to bathe or shower, he went 2 weeks without washing! Our bed smells from his sweat and I currently change the bedding twice a week as I can't stand the smell.
I've now reached a point where I'm ready to give up - I no longer care whether or not he addresses his health issues, don't care how much he drinks, etc. I feel more like his mother making sure he washes, changes his clothes. takes his heart pills, etc. We have no intimacy any more - we don't kiss or cuddle and he's the last person I want to have sex with. I know that next time he initiates (which is probably due in 6 weeks or so) I will have to turn it down because he just turns me off.
Has anybody else here experienced this sort of reversal and is there anything that can be done about it?
Our longest time without sex was 13 weeks earlier this year, but we have sex on average every 6 or 7 weeks, despite the fact that we've been married less than 2 years. I've been desperate and frustrated about this situation and have spoken to LD Husband about it several times. I've been careful to be sensitive and take his feelings into consideration, but the last time we discussed this I let him know that I don't feel that we have a proper marriage adn that if the situation does not improve I'm going to need to look elsewhere for sex. We're both in our mid fifties, I'm fit as a fiddle while he has heart problems, an appalling diet and drinks half a bottle of whiskey most nights. During the talks we've had about this, he's got upset and apologised for not looking after himself better during his earlier years and promised to do something about his health and drinking. He hasn't cut down on the drinking, hasn't changed his diet and has not started any exercise regime that would lead to a fitter, healthier lifestyle. He sits around reading most days until he's exhausted and has to go and lie down at about 7 or 8pm. He's also pretty soap-shy and will only bathe or shower when I insist. When I recently left him to make up his own mind when to bathe or shower, he went 2 weeks without washing! Our bed smells from his sweat and I currently change the bedding twice a week as I can't stand the smell.
I've now reached a point where I'm ready to give up - I no longer care whether or not he addresses his health issues, don't care how much he drinks, etc. I feel more like his mother making sure he washes, changes his clothes. takes his heart pills, etc. We have no intimacy any more - we don't kiss or cuddle and he's the last person I want to have sex with. I know that next time he initiates (which is probably due in 6 weeks or so) I will have to turn it down because he just turns me off.
Has anybody else here experienced this sort of reversal and is there anything that can be done about it?
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