Good afternoon. I have posted here before and had some great advice and I am turning back to the fellow TAM members for more. To start my husband and I have been together for 13yrs married for almost 8. We have 3 amazing children together ages 6,10,11. We started having problems this past August when I found out about a female coworker he had been texting constantly. I confronted him and her both and got to the bottom of it. She is just a friend and that was that. I will say that initally I may of over-reacted about the situation and jumped to conclusions but I have apologized for what I said and the way I acted. However things got rocky from there. My husband said he was upset it was obvious I did not trust him and he said I completly over reacted and that it was all uncalled for and I was trying to controll who he is friends with. The past few months since things have been different. He wanted to orginally work on fixing the things that were bothering e ach of us in the marriage and now he just has no interest. He has said the following...
-I don't know if I ever loved you
-I love you but I am not in love with you
-We have nothing in common
-I am not happy
-This marriage isn't going to work
-I need to clear my mind.
-I feel like I am being controlled/trapped
I will tell you that since all these things that have come about I have been focusing less on him and more on me and my children. I go out with friends, work-out, take the kids out to do things and so on. I have been giving him space and it seems to be bothering him even though he has not said anything. I found out that he has been checking my phone records. I will tell you I have not checked out of this marriage. I am seeing a counselor alone since he refused. But they keep saying things like he could be in a mid-life crisis. We do not argue but we do not talk all the time either. He still lives in the house at this time. We have never had any problems prior to this and I am just blindsided and confused. There were never any signs of unhappiness from him all these years and I have done a lot of thinking back about this. The whole comment about "I am not sure if I ever loved you" went straight to the heart like a bullet. However my gut tells me different. I am at a point wher e I am not sure what to do. Do I just hang in there? Do I push him to move out? I feel in my gut that he wants this to work but that he is so caught up in whatever is going on in his mind with his emotions and feelings I think he is confused. I do not bring up conversations about our relationship/marriage because he gets so frusterated and I always end up in tears because of things he says. Any suggestions or advice would be helpful and appreciated. Thank you!
-I don't know if I ever loved you
-I love you but I am not in love with you
-We have nothing in common
-I am not happy
-This marriage isn't going to work
-I need to clear my mind.
-I feel like I am being controlled/trapped
I will tell you that since all these things that have come about I have been focusing less on him and more on me and my children. I go out with friends, work-out, take the kids out to do things and so on. I have been giving him space and it seems to be bothering him even though he has not said anything. I found out that he has been checking my phone records. I will tell you I have not checked out of this marriage. I am seeing a counselor alone since he refused. But they keep saying things like he could be in a mid-life crisis. We do not argue but we do not talk all the time either. He still lives in the house at this time. We have never had any problems prior to this and I am just blindsided and confused. There were never any signs of unhappiness from him all these years and I have done a lot of thinking back about this. The whole comment about "I am not sure if I ever loved you" went straight to the heart like a bullet. However my gut tells me different. I am at a point wher e I am not sure what to do. Do I just hang in there? Do I push him to move out? I feel in my gut that he wants this to work but that he is so caught up in whatever is going on in his mind with his emotions and feelings I think he is confused. I do not bring up conversations about our relationship/marriage because he gets so frusterated and I always end up in tears because of things he says. Any suggestions or advice would be helpful and appreciated. Thank you!
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