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I'm tired of cheating. How can I make my husband be the man I want him to be?

Ok I know people frown on this kind of thing so I will get this out the way first.

I've been cheating on my husband for the past 3 years!

The other man works on the same job as me. It was originally just a fling and eventually became an entirely new relationship. This man was everything my husband used to be when we met. Funny, handsome, athletic.....he had it all. I know that being in this relationship was wrong but I was being selfish and trying to live my own life without thinking about my husband or children.

I've sensed my husband has always knew something was wrong and I believe that's why he has tried so hard to please me. We've been to countless marriage sessions to try to "work" on our marriage but none of it ever worked. All of this constant pressure really took a toll on me. I made a pact with the man that I was sleeping with and we both agreed to divorce our spouses and be with each other. We were together for so long that I felt this was the right choice for me to be happy.

So I separated from my husband earlier this year against his wishes. He wanted to stay and try to make things work but I knew in my heart that I was in love with someone else and that there was nothing my husband could do to make this work.

Now what does my true lover go and do? He goes to Cancun with his wife and renews his wedding vows!!!!!

He didn't tell me but I just found out this week. I'm so hurt and didn't know that he could hurt me so bad. All this time, he claims he wants to be with me. Now he decides he wants to be with his wife. Oh and get this, he still wants to keep having sex with me. That's just not going to happen.

So I've decided that I want to work things out with my "almost" ex husband. We've been talking this week and he wants to come back home and try again. I really want to give him another chance and I want to know what I can do to change him into the man I originally married. I feel like he has taken me for granted all these years and that's what caused me to cheat. I never wanted to hurt him but we both deserve to be happy. I want him to treat me like the queen I am and to stop going through the motions.

Sorry for the rant and I'm sure I left something out. I know this marriage can't be a lost cause and I need to know what to do to make it work.

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