Every so often, my wife and I will have the same argument because supposedly I don't ask about her day and I don't show any interest in her life. Apparently, I come home and tell her all that happened to me and when I am done, the conversations ends.
Why can't she just say what she has to say? Why do we need to go through this proforma action of me having to ask her? It drives me crazy. I share what I want to share, why can't she do the same thing? Just say it!How hard is that?
So, now, when I came home (I travel a bit), and I comment on whatever happened, I start to see the lips pressing, the eyes wondering and the head tilt and I already now what that's about: she is not even listening, she just waiting for me the finish my sentence to say "See?" and that really is a conversation killer.
I know there is something cultural going on. I understand that in the US people grow up learning to not interrupt and waiting for their turn to talk, while in Europe we tend to interrupt and just say what they are thinking. It is not in my habits to ask my wife (or anyone) to tell me what she is thinking as it is not in hers to just say it.
Any insights on how to deal with this?
Why can't she just say what she has to say? Why do we need to go through this proforma action of me having to ask her? It drives me crazy. I share what I want to share, why can't she do the same thing? Just say it!How hard is that?
So, now, when I came home (I travel a bit), and I comment on whatever happened, I start to see the lips pressing, the eyes wondering and the head tilt and I already now what that's about: she is not even listening, she just waiting for me the finish my sentence to say "See?" and that really is a conversation killer.
I know there is something cultural going on. I understand that in the US people grow up learning to not interrupt and waiting for their turn to talk, while in Europe we tend to interrupt and just say what they are thinking. It is not in my habits to ask my wife (or anyone) to tell me what she is thinking as it is not in hers to just say it.
Any insights on how to deal with this?
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