My husband and I have always had separate bank accounts and we never really discussed any future investments etc. that we could start saving up in the future.
Money is a big problem in our marriage. I don't trust him with money as he is just not wise with it. He doesn't seem to spend much money on himself on things like clothes, gadgets, etc. He doesn't really spend money on me either except occasional dinner out. We don't go on vacation, we don't really do any short weekend trips. I do know he likes to bet on sports though. He is all about half and half as far as paying for bills.
I really would like to start saving for a downpayment for a condo or small house but I just don't think that my husband would ever contribute to saving. He does not really care about buying the big things. Since we argued from early beginning of the marriage about the finances - i didn't really want a joint account. This way he can't control/potentially spend money that try to save. Last time About a year ago I accidentally saw his atm receipt, when I was cleaning, and the balance was pretty small for a someone with a regular full time job. I don't know how much he spends on what, how much he gambles (he says it's not much maybe like 50-100 a month) I just don't have a way to know that.
I feel like most that I have I accomplished myself because of my own ability to save up money. Unfortunately to buy a home I just cant to it all by myself. I need his contribution. I don't even know how much money he has in his account. I am afraid to ask because it would hurt to hear that he might have less than i think he should have.
I guess I am just trying to figure out how can I openly and honestly talk to him about our finances. I don't want to seem like investigating him but I feel like I just need to know how he is doing and whether we need to make some changes. I also recently learned that our electric bill is a few months past due - electricity is the only joint bill that he takes care of. I never really interrogated him about his account balance but now that I need to know how we are doing i just feel like it's time for a serious conversation. (usually those don't end well and he shuts down).
What are your thoughts guys? I am worried that my marriage might be doomed for failure partially because we cannot seem to become honest about finances and we don't have the same financial goals and lifestyles.
Money is a big problem in our marriage. I don't trust him with money as he is just not wise with it. He doesn't seem to spend much money on himself on things like clothes, gadgets, etc. He doesn't really spend money on me either except occasional dinner out. We don't go on vacation, we don't really do any short weekend trips. I do know he likes to bet on sports though. He is all about half and half as far as paying for bills.
I really would like to start saving for a downpayment for a condo or small house but I just don't think that my husband would ever contribute to saving. He does not really care about buying the big things. Since we argued from early beginning of the marriage about the finances - i didn't really want a joint account. This way he can't control/potentially spend money that try to save. Last time About a year ago I accidentally saw his atm receipt, when I was cleaning, and the balance was pretty small for a someone with a regular full time job. I don't know how much he spends on what, how much he gambles (he says it's not much maybe like 50-100 a month) I just don't have a way to know that.
I feel like most that I have I accomplished myself because of my own ability to save up money. Unfortunately to buy a home I just cant to it all by myself. I need his contribution. I don't even know how much money he has in his account. I am afraid to ask because it would hurt to hear that he might have less than i think he should have.
I guess I am just trying to figure out how can I openly and honestly talk to him about our finances. I don't want to seem like investigating him but I feel like I just need to know how he is doing and whether we need to make some changes. I also recently learned that our electric bill is a few months past due - electricity is the only joint bill that he takes care of. I never really interrogated him about his account balance but now that I need to know how we are doing i just feel like it's time for a serious conversation. (usually those don't end well and he shuts down).
What are your thoughts guys? I am worried that my marriage might be doomed for failure partially because we cannot seem to become honest about finances and we don't have the same financial goals and lifestyles.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment