I have been married now for about 3 years. We are in our mid 20s. No kids and not having any for a while. Wife and I have been having issues since we've been married. The usual stuff; money, wanting kids now vs later, she wants to quit her job and go back to school, etc. However, this is the main issue, because of something she did while we were dating, she feels guilty and never wants to have sex. When I say never, I mean we've had sex like 4 times since May. This has been the biggest issue that has caused many fights. For the longest time, she didn't act like this was a big deal, even though I told her flat out it was. She now has realized that it is actually an issue and could possibly cause our marriage to fail and says she is going to do better. The thing is, this realization happened in May, which is why I know how frequent sex has been. I'm now getting to the point where I just don't care anymore and feel like I'm at my breaking point. I don't e ven try to initiate anything anymore because I know what the outcome will be. We dated all through college and got married a year after we graduated. We both have changed a lot and now really don't have much in common anymore like life plans and goals, what we consider fun together and other things like that. I really just feel like we're roommates. She doesn't have a really good relationship with her parents as they don't pay her very much attention and seemingly get annoyed when she tries to talk to them about anything. She also has a really hard time keeping close friends as she kinda smothers them, her words not mine. I'm not really happy anymore and while I don't really want to leave her, I don't want to stay either. She frequently tells me that I am her entire world and her only real friend. So even if I wanted to leave, I would feel like a complete ass if I did because I really feel like she would be alone and have no real support.
To make matters worse, there is a woman at work with which I like to be around because she is smart, funny, and we have a lot in common and she seems to truly enjoy my company. I would never cheat on my wife because I feel like that is the worst thing you could do to someone, but I can't help being attracted to someone. Every interaction with this woman has always been completely appropriate, however, more than one person has said that they think she has a crush on me, which of course is flattering. Now, I've started to compare my wife to her which is completely unfair to my wife because I really don't truly know the woman and how could my wife possibly compare to something that's partly made up in my head. I know that having a friend like the woman at work is a dangerous thing so I have now tried to limit contact as much as possible at work and have very rarely interacted outside of work anyway and it was with people from work. That way I can get that distraction out of m y mind and really focus on what I need to do to make my home life right. But earlier this week I found out she is dating someone and it actually made me upset. That bothered me really badly because I felt so guilty for having that reaction.
I feel like these two issues have been feeding off of one another to make each of them worse and it really is making me completely miserable. I've started going to therapy to figure out if I want to fix everything at home or not because, I really don't know what I want to do.
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To make matters worse, there is a woman at work with which I like to be around because she is smart, funny, and we have a lot in common and she seems to truly enjoy my company. I would never cheat on my wife because I feel like that is the worst thing you could do to someone, but I can't help being attracted to someone. Every interaction with this woman has always been completely appropriate, however, more than one person has said that they think she has a crush on me, which of course is flattering. Now, I've started to compare my wife to her which is completely unfair to my wife because I really don't truly know the woman and how could my wife possibly compare to something that's partly made up in my head. I know that having a friend like the woman at work is a dangerous thing so I have now tried to limit contact as much as possible at work and have very rarely interacted outside of work anyway and it was with people from work. That way I can get that distraction out of m y mind and really focus on what I need to do to make my home life right. But earlier this week I found out she is dating someone and it actually made me upset. That bothered me really badly because I felt so guilty for having that reaction.
I feel like these two issues have been feeding off of one another to make each of them worse and it really is making me completely miserable. I've started going to therapy to figure out if I want to fix everything at home or not because, I really don't know what I want to do.
Posted via Mobile Device
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