Hi All,
Thank you for reading this anon post!
I have spent the last 2 years in a very happy relationship with someone who became my best friend 2 years prior to our relationship beginning. Problems that we worked through was the fact that my family still didn't know about him yet, being that he is of a different religion, although he started to spend some time with my mum and siblings as my "close friend" and I told him my family were starting to see through it but ultimately mum told me she would approve of him if I liked him, as she'd gotten to know him well and understood how special he is.
However recently my bf's dear friend suddenly passed away. This came at a time that my own mother has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and so I was not physically as present for my bf as I would have hoped, particularly as my family don't approve of me openly meeting up/staying round "close male friend's houses' " .
During this time I knew he was angry and distraught, but very surrounded by tons of family and friends. I took reassurance in the fact that we would be back at college (university) in a matter of weeks (in this time I also had some surgery!) and that I could help him pick himself up/support wherever possible.
However he was very avoidant with me and cold (very unlike him before this grief struck him) and told me he didn't want to be with me anymore, felt dull towards me, feels exhausted and not even sure that we would end up together anyways in the future. he was adamant that he was not going to go back on this (he rarely does when he makes a decision and has never gone back to an ex before, albeit his shorter relationship lengths!) he agreed we have a special bond and hoped I could be there for him as a friend.
I tried to explain that I would step back in the relationship and make it about him as the priority, not expect much at all from him but just want to be there, but he just said it wasn't what he wanted. I'm left completely shocked, it feels as though I have lost my true companion. We were so committed to each other and genuinely sickeningly happy before this.
How do I / (we?) move on from this in a healthy way?
Please help!
Thank you
Thank you for reading this anon post!
I have spent the last 2 years in a very happy relationship with someone who became my best friend 2 years prior to our relationship beginning. Problems that we worked through was the fact that my family still didn't know about him yet, being that he is of a different religion, although he started to spend some time with my mum and siblings as my "close friend" and I told him my family were starting to see through it but ultimately mum told me she would approve of him if I liked him, as she'd gotten to know him well and understood how special he is.
However recently my bf's dear friend suddenly passed away. This came at a time that my own mother has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and so I was not physically as present for my bf as I would have hoped, particularly as my family don't approve of me openly meeting up/staying round "close male friend's houses' " .
During this time I knew he was angry and distraught, but very surrounded by tons of family and friends. I took reassurance in the fact that we would be back at college (university) in a matter of weeks (in this time I also had some surgery!) and that I could help him pick himself up/support wherever possible.
However he was very avoidant with me and cold (very unlike him before this grief struck him) and told me he didn't want to be with me anymore, felt dull towards me, feels exhausted and not even sure that we would end up together anyways in the future. he was adamant that he was not going to go back on this (he rarely does when he makes a decision and has never gone back to an ex before, albeit his shorter relationship lengths!) he agreed we have a special bond and hoped I could be there for him as a friend.
I tried to explain that I would step back in the relationship and make it about him as the priority, not expect much at all from him but just want to be there, but he just said it wasn't what he wanted. I'm left completely shocked, it feels as though I have lost my true companion. We were so committed to each other and genuinely sickeningly happy before this.
How do I / (we?) move on from this in a healthy way?
Please help!
Thank you
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