My Porn Live Cam Addiction - First Post

So I read a few posts here and registered so I can vent but I really have not seen any solutions because I guess it's just not that simple. I know you've heard it over and over but here goes- I love my wife but I pay money for cam models almost daily. I've probably spent 30 grand in 4-5 years maybe more. Sites like imlive, livejasmin, naked etc I bounce around from site to site. Sometimes I look for hours for women, and I have a few who I see regularly. Sometimes I meet them off of the sites on skype and paypal them money directly and with a few I've had contact for years. Once one of them was stuck in another state, I was in another country at work, and I bought her a plane ticket and called the guy who had ditched her and scared him into taking her to the airport. Months later she came to my country to see a client and tried to get me to come see her but I wouldn't out of respect for my wife. It's just all out insanity. I even do it at work in my office or when my wife is asleep, I even did it on our honeymoon. I developed the addiction through being gone from home so much and finding sexual gratification through this channel and it's just spiraled out of contro l. I have like 5 grand worth of happy hour credits on imlive that I don't even use because happy hour isn't personal enough because other people are watching. But just the accumulation of that much happy hour credit means I spent a sh!t load of money there. Also my wife has caught me many times and I hate hurting her feelings but it's not enough to make me stop. I've never told anyone that I know about this problem and I don't expect anyone here to have a solution. The other crazy thing is now that I'm addicted to paying women for sexual favors I do it to normal women who aren't in the business. Facebook friends, ex girlfriends, women who are friends of friends on facebook, I have propositioned them. I think it's amazing how easily they go from "oh no you're married" to once I offer money then they're doing whatever I want. I've never fallen in love with any of them it's purely the lust factor and the control. Also I like receiving compliments from women who see me on cam, m ost of the time I think they're just doing it for the money but I have high self esteem so then again I feel a form of gratification from the compliments also......Anyways, I just felt like talking about it. I see from the other posts that I'm not alone and that many other guys are addicted to this also, I mean obviously it's a multibillion dollar industry. To the wives out there, I know you think I'm a piece of ****, I feel like it more often then not but my other head is stronger than the one on my shoulders sometimes. I would ask for help but I think that would be unrealistic....I may post some more ridiculous instances later as they come to me...this is only the tip of the iceberg.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979