Advice

Hi There, Long time lurker, first time poster here :) I work in Afghanistan, and my wife works and lives with our 3 children in another country - not either of our home countries. I'm home for 2-3 weeks every 6-8 weeks. Her job is demanding, and of course looking after 3 small children is demanding - although she has a nanny who helps a great deal and does cleaning. This job in Afghanistan was only supposed to be temporary, but has now been 18 months. When we are together things are good, nice chats, good sex etc When I was home recently, she left her computer logged into a forum - where I found that she had been posting...a bit like this forum but in her language. The is just the first post, the whole thing goes on for 7 pages...but it gives you an idea. I have confronted her about, but her reaction was defensive and basically blamed it on me, the leaving her. She says it was a one off, but reading the post it doesn't seem like that was her desire. I'm interested to hear how other people would have handled/dealt with this... Thanks! Below is the transcript of the original post, translated as best I could : Good evening, I'm new here and I have to turn to you for advice times asking to you with my situation. To me, I'm 40, with children, married, but my husband is away on business most of the time, only every few weeks with us. For a few months I am working in a new location. I get along with my boss very well for some time. We regularly go lunch together, laugh a lot and are on a wave length. Now a few weeks ago, we had a seminar that he and I have organized and managed together. On the last night we physically came a little closer together, which emanated from him. We have not kissed, have only danced closely (with no audience) and held in each others arms. When we then went to our rooms (it was in a hotel), he asked whether I wanted to come in for a drink. I have refused and we are in our respective rooms. On the next morning, everything was as usual, after a short initial uncertainty we were both friendly and well-acted, as before. Until last Wednesday. We were at a farewell ceremony of a colleague and drank quite a bit. When changing the location, we have separated us from the others and are driven to his home (honestly, I know now no longer exactly why??). Now, he has asked me what I want to do and I kissed him – and he has reciprocated. Then we went back and joined the others at the other party (also here I don't remember exactly why. Somehow everything just happened). We danced and grinning looks and I have said, I would now have to go home, my children were with the babysitter and we both had to work the next day. It was now 1.30 then we gone up to the taxi stand and, he said that he so very much likes me, and finds me very attractive, but he was so in love with someone else. I know that he has a girlfriend, but is also married. He said something about me and whether I'm in an unhappy marriage (which I do not have answered) and that he wants no family. I drove home. Phew! The last few days everything was back as before, friendly, informal, and professional. I thought 'well, that I tick off, he is in love with another.' Now I have planned a 2 day office outing for next week. He heard it and called me and said that he really wanted to come, but cannot and if I could move the appointment so that he could come along. This could have a purely professional reasons, but his presence is also not mandatory. I don't even know what I should think. He tells me that he is in love with another but why then he kisses me at all. He is somebody who is very loose and is relaxed, possibly he simply takes what goes. Or my children put off him (he does not know them)? He is certainly no one who is keen to take over 'foreign' children, but I do not want this also at all. Ooh, and I do not know what's up and down anymore. I am not insanely in love, but a bit of fun/entertainment for a change would be nice, but I am not willing to be run over or made a mockery of, none the least of my boss. Is this a clearly relayed message that I am too much for him?

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