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Damned if you do, damned if you don't

I think I posted something not altogether unlike this before, although this is more specific to the "problem." Actually, I'm not sure I'm stating a problem, or even asking a specific question, so much as simply describing a situation.

My wife and I have been married for two and a half years now (we're both in our very early 30s). We had a pretty good sex life while dating, and even just after getting married. Then, barely two months into the marriage, we unexpectedly became pregnant. We now have a two year old son, going on three in just a few months, but sex has remained very infrequent between us since the birth. Like, once or twice a month most of the time. It's really no mystery to me. Aside from all the problems and issues and stresses that come from a busy life filled with work and child rearing, and also I might add some of the medications I take, the big issue that I know lies between us is that we're simply terrified of becoming pregnant again. We didn't originally plan on having any children so soon. We're certainly not ready for more. We love our son, no doubt, but we honestly didn't plan on him so soon.

So we just don't have sex. Unless it's the time of my wife's cycle where it's highly unlikely that she's going to get pregnant. Which, of course, isn't very often. We're not big fans of condoms. Too much lost sensation. We're also kinda skittish about hormonal birth control. Not so much because of the big, rare risks like cancers and such as just the apparently better known side-effects such as decreased libido and such.

It seems like a no-win situation to me. We have sex, we're more likely to get pregnant. We use BC, and sex is either less enjoyable or less desirable. Or we just don't have sex, and... well, that's where we are now, pretty much.

So, what does everyone else do? Just go for it and damn the proverbial torpedoes and such? Or maybe this situation occurs in more marriages than I realize?




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