Husband REFUSES to Make Desicions

Husband and I have been married 21 years and this has been an issues since before we got married. You'd think I would be used to it by now but.....here goes, need some input as to what is going on and how to change it as I cannnot do this anymore! typical scenario.....we have family coming to visit (we live overseas) and they want to travel when they get here. So I ask husband to help me try to figure out travel plans....I had been searching but nothing presented itself. Husband gets on computer and I think he is searching, I look over and he is playing a game. What? Furious, I just keep looking with no help. He realizes I am not happy. He says he doesn't know how I can keep looking because, 'he looked for 5 minutes and gave up.' That, right there tells you ALOT about my husband. typical scenario......he mentions we should go to lunch, I tell him I would be glad to....where? he cannot decide, this goes on for a good 20 minutes so I decided we could eat lunch at home because it is getting quite late and do something later. He gets all flustered. I don't understand why, he never says a thing so we both end up eating something here and doing nothing. He then later says he doesn't know where I want to eat so he doesn't know what to suggest. Why do I have to make this choice? I do not get this. typical scenario......his sons are acting out, I ask him if he allows______. He says he does not. I ask him what he thinks shoudl be done about it. He is clueless so we go thru the process tother to figure out a plan of action and then he does NOTHING. His sister can say anything she wants about me and he will never correct her or tell her to stay out of our business. He does not deal with his exwife and any dealings I have with her, she pretends I don't exist but I just happen to be the one rasiing those boys. Husband had full custody of his sons and I entered the picture when they were 5 & 7. He can never tells his parents we have otehr plans or a visit right now might not be good, or to stay out of our business and his mom was so bad about feeling she "had to say soemthing" to us about whatever. If I do make a decision without saying something to him first then I will pay the price for that. He once tried to make me return a vaccuum cleaner that I decided to buy without his permission. he is an absolute tight wad and will complain about the amount of toilet paper the kids use so I have learned that I will pay for the groceries, the allowance, the hair cuts, the vacations and ahve worked the whole time we have been married, raising 5 kids at the same time. We had company the other night (Mother's day), what did my husband do? Saty on the computer and played games and watched movies all day. Did not help with the dinner prep. At one point he came in and asked if we were having a certain salad. I had told him earlier in the day what I had planned to prepare and that dish was not listed so I have not idea where he got that idea. I am frustrated beyond myself.

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