When to give up?

I found out that my W is having an A. Both my W and OM work in the same work environment but do not work for the same employer. I have spoken with the OMW who was very appreciative. Both of us (myself and OMW) suspected something was happeing. Both of us were lied to. My wife has been unhappy for the past 2-1/2 years according to her. We have been married for 5-1/2 years and been together for 7-1/2. We have two children (2 & 4). I understand my role in our marriage in that I did not meet her emotional needs. Not to say that I did not try. We both agreed that we failed. She wants to move on, yet is still living in the same house. She is confused and truley does not know what she wants. I have asked her to stop the affair (that has gone both E & P). She has tried but since they work in the same work environment, it has been difficult for both to stop. I understand that this is like an addiction for both of them. They both work in polotics so the session is about to wrap up. This will hopefully make it easier for each to come to reality. Her is the sad/troubled news. The OMW works in the same building as I do. We did not know that until last Wednesday. She is on 2nd and I am on 6th. We work for two totally different companies. Both marriages are of differnt faiths. While speaking to OMW, we both understand that family and failth is important to us. Evidently my W and OM have turned against their faith. The other troubling news is that the OMW is pregnant and expecting twins. Their first children. I know this can be repaired and that it takes both to work on it. With the work environment, I think they both try to stop based on the communication I am tracking (following their calls and text msg - though I do not know what they talk about only that they talk). They have to communicate with their work. I know they have to completely cut the communication and the OMW and myself have stated that. I understand the concept that couples head for divorce by either waiting to late to work on the relationship or giving up to early. I understand the early part as emotions can play a plan in the whole decision process. This has not been easy for me and can see where both myself and wife have failed. I want to work to see if this can be saved and understand that it is not possible while an affair is still in progress. She says that the OM makes her happy where I do not. I know we both need relationship coaching and individual counceling. I have already started the process for me and my W is willing to go for herself but not until after session (which is only a week to week and a half out). To my knowledge, all parents do not know what is going on. My W parents know that we are having trouble but not the details. I suspect that my W maybe talking to her mom on this but do not have evidence. The OMW had stated that his parents will need to know prior to birth of the twins which may bring reality to focus. My question is when is it too late to save a marriage? Both myself and OMW understand the pressures in each of our lives. My wife maybe suffereing from a mid-life crisis, depression, large amount of work stress and the inability to connect with me. Likewise, the OM is dealing with work stress, becoming a new parent to twins, possible mid-life crisis though he is only 29. My wife is almost 36. Normally, this is a deal breaker for me. The problem is that the OMW and myself do not believe in divorce. I am strong in my faith and beliefs. I also know that I need to work on myself before I can help my wife. Any suggestions? Anyone been in this situation? I have not read that many threads and have will continue to do so.

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