Walking the Fine Line: Nice Guy vs No More Nice Guy

I have not read the Married Mans Primer but I have been to website and kind of have a grasp of the "mapping" and everything that goes along with it. and how I should be more assertive and the "captain" etc. I am however conflicted in the overall philosophy. Currently my goal is to get my wife more into me. I do know that I have to lose weight even though she insist my weight gain isn't the issue. We have been married 16 years and have sex about once a week, which isn't bad but I want more. So I have been reading that there are many little "tests" women will do throughout the day. Things like "can you pour me a soda, etc". I have always been giving and done things like this for her. The MMSL program says I should not really do these things because it makes me look not very "Alpha". And the more alpha I look the more I get laid. On the other hand, I read from women that they love a guy who helps keep the house clean, is a good listener, keeps himself in shape and occasionally gives them a foot rub, etc. I can't help but see some contradictions in these things. Not to mention, my wife is not stupid, if I stop doing things she asks me for she is going to notice. I did this last night, and it started a semi-argument. She asked me if I could turn a light off and I responded in an alpha way "you are more than capable of turning the light off yourself". Stuff like that is never going to work with her. I always thought doing nice things for your wife over time help her have good feeling and now I am told that I have to say no to all these little things. She really does not ask for much. I totally get that I am not supposed to follow her around the house like a lost puppy looking for affection. But now I am kind of lost at what to do and when to do it.

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