Totally and completely crushed

I have been involved with my husband for 17 years married for 15. This time last year once he began a Facebook account, quickly started locating old friends as well as old girlfriends. There is an old first love that got found.. they wished each other "happy birthday" when they came..Dec & Jan. They started texting like crazy..when I asked who he was texting, he would make up somebody that would be ok with me. Then he started sitting up after I'd go to bed. Then March of 2012 out of the blue.. he says.. "I'm going to my brothers for a few days to get my head straight", totally blew me away..didn't see it coming. Then after a few days I started putting some thoughts and memories together. The cell phone bill came and almost 1800 texts in a month, really? then after doing some investigations on my own, traced them to a girl who broke his heart badly about 20 years ago.. Come to find out he had been visiting with her, taking his ring off and lying to her about his marital status. I confronted her on FB, she said she would back off, she didn't know..she didn't. I asked him about her, he said, "its not like that".. I asked to see his text messages he said I couldn't he deleted them all.. once he fell asleep, I went to his truck, got his phone, took it in the bathroom, plugged it up, and read his text messages, I FELT MY HEART IN MY STOMACH. My husband does not know how to talk about his feelings.. but I lost it when I confronted him. The next day he was wanting to come back home.. come to find out , he had a P O box, a separate bank account..:scratchhead:just totally unaware he had made all these changes, my husband is an Iraqi combat veteran, dealing with PTSD..but he is usually a very grounded moral person, we adopted a child 6 years ago as I could never have kids, and no one in his family has been through a separation/divorce except his sister. His sister has been married 3 times has 4 boys, but when my husband came ho me promising to work on things, he became a shell of my husband, either on FB or watching Fox News.. very inattentive, but would private text his sister, a lot. Come to find out, his sister became friends with this girl he cheated with..and he wouldn't do anything I asked to help me heal from his indescretions, when I would ask him something, he called me nosey, he got fed up with my insecurity...and decided to leave again Jan 31 2013.. and he's staying with his sister, who is friends with the adultress.. I love my husband.. and have fought and fought to get him back for not only me but our son.. I need help, thanks

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