Sex for Drugs

Hi For me it was just a bad week, my car broke down I had to get a new transmission, it really sucked because husband and I were down to one car for a year now, so I had to take a cab to work to the late shift, I got out of the cab that morning and must have dropped my phone somewhere. I couldn't find my phone so I asked CS if I could use theirs he handed it over, a call came through a name I had saw once or twice before the name had a five in front of it like the names of people from this company he used o work for, so 5michelle calls I ask about it he said oh ignore that just team sales training calls he is still on someones list. I though it was odd but I was distraught over losing my phone. I tried calling my number and someone picked up but didn't say anything, so I thought damn someone has my phone and I will probably never see it again, then a test message appeared it says "hey baby where are you?" I looked at it in disbelief and noticed it was from 5michelle by now my heart is racing and hand is shaking a bit. I tried to school my features so he wouldn't get tipped off and grab the phone so I text back "I am at home" response came back quickly "call me" so I said "what's up" so maybe this person would spill some specifics that would be indisputable, by then my husband looks at my face he must have sensed something wrong he says who are you texting, so I handed him the phone. He immediately went into liar mode, oh this person obviously is texting the wrong person by mistake, so I said how can that be the case when I have seen this person call your phone several times they have to have gotten your voice mail when they called and there was no answer so in order for them to text right after they had to know who they are looking for, at this point he is trying to stay calm he says look I will text the person and ask if they have the wrong number, he sent out a text. Meanwhile I went on our cell providers sight to check how often that number has called and how many minutes were those calls from someone he doesn't talk to, he shows me a text back from her that says sorry wrong number, but our call details go back 90 days and the number popped up often so I wrote down all the dates and times and went back there is no way you are denying this and now I am numb angry shocked dissapointed spinning, but I ask him to tell me the truth you cant deny it did you meet this person at a sales meeting is this someone you work with did she hit on you and you guys are flirting back and forth, he says no he gave her the 5 title so I would think it was sales related which I did when I saw it several times before, but he never changed his behavior and our relationship seemed good. I asked him to just tell me what happened lets put it in the open and talk like adults he said it's nothing believe me it's lower than nothing you don't have to worry means nothing to me, I said then why is this person calling you baby he said it was a person going through a divorce needed a shoulder to lean on and I said have you had sex with this person, he hesitated I said that would be a yes, then he turns on the I don't want to hurt you I never thought you would find out, I said we have two small children 1yr and 3yrs old a twenty year relationship and a ten year marriage was it worth it to tear it apart, he said no he felt sooo guilty and terrible, but I said if I had not intercepted that call you wouldn't have said anything, he said he has been trying to stop I said whats holding you back are you in love with this person he said hell no, so I said who is she he said he met her outside a restaurant she said she was stranded and needed a ride because her husband stor med off and left her he said he decided to help her and bought her some food he took her home they talked about the husband and somehow she offered him sex??? He says he declined at that time but took her number, she continued calling him and he would pick her up after taking my son to school in my car and take her to get marijuana I was floored I literally felt my knees buckle we don't drink we don't smoke where did drugs come into play, I said are you doing drugs he oooh nooo no no no I would take her there to pick this up and she would have sex with me, he would also give her money for the drugs then take her home but she didn't want to do it in her house because she said the children were in there, so they would do it on the back porch, he said it wasn't passionate he didn't touch her she would give him oral sex with a condom on and he would have sex with her doggy style with the same condom this is soo out of character for the man I knew him to be we were the Zen couple doing everything together our names came out like oneword to people who knew us and I thought we were very happy. He said he needed the ego boost he had gained some weight and his business was not going well and he was being selfish, he said you are always tired we only do it twice a week on weekends when you are off work, yes I work nights and when I come home I have the babies and household chores it is much easier on the weekend when I don't have to work, he said he was tired of jerking off and to him this was the remedy it was just like jerking off, but when I probed further he admitted to providing the woman with self help books as he is known to do with many of our friends and family if this was a cash or drug relationship why are you listening to her cry on your shoulder or trying to help her. I cant believe he could be that heartless and use this addict like this he always tries to help people, he said she called him when she needed drugs and he would take her there have sex, not wash or anything and then pick my son up from school, he said it has been going on for three months about and I am thinking of the many times we have had sex and how many other people is this woman using for drugs, is he that stupid , that gullible, that reckless, that heartless??? She knew about me, she covered up the lie with him quickly on the text so there was a bond, I asked if he touched her kissed her groped her body he said she would often have a jacket on but later he admitted she was an A cup how would you know that. He took a picture of her id and had it in his phone I said why did you do that he said just in case anything happened, so you didn't trust what was happening but you did it anyway....and I cant get rid of the numbness and nagging question why why why why why......

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