Mother in law ruining marriage

Hi I've been married for three and a half years now. There were problems from the beginning with families not getting along. My husband is a great guy and I love him very much. His mother is the problem. She has told him many untruths regarding me and my immediate family. I overlooked it initially but it is getting harder and harder to forgive her. She is so overly possessive of her son, that she not only tells him bad things about me, and my mother, but also about her very own close friends and relatives. She does it always when it's her alone with her son. She is so worried about him loving someone else more than her. She keeps him from loving any motherly figure aside from herself and it has shattered my dreams of one large loving family. She doesn't let him see my family for the most part anymore because she wants to see him all the time. My philosophy is that aren't 3 moms better than 1? Cant we be a big loving family? cant she realize that if her son has three loving mot herly figures in his life...it will help him feel more loved and accepted and be beneficial to him? but she has created a wall between him and my family due to her jealousy....so that dream is shattered. i love my husband very much, but his mother is difficult to handle (very emotional/borderline type/dependent) and i don't know what to do. when its just me and my husband with no family interference we are very content and happy. as soon as she calls us and tells us to come over we get into huge arguments about what she says subtley to me as an insult etc. She lives next door and wants to be there 24/7 and will follow us no matter where we go. Feeling suffocated by her. Husband unfortunately listens to everything she says....it's hard for him to be impartial because its his mom and he's a wonderful son. I adore that about him but I feel she takes advantage of him being a good son by making him feel guilty about everything and always victimizing herself as a helpless lon ely woman. What bothers me most about his mom setting aside the untruths and character defamation she does is that she betrayed her best friend/sister of 40 years because she thought her son started loving his aunt more than her. she henceforth told my husband to cut contact with his aunt...someone who loved him so much. This bothers me the most because it shows a complete and utter lack of loyalty (I am worried that if she can do this to one so near and dear...what can she do to the rest of the people she barely knows?) Next problem is that my husband and brother don't get along. They had a rift a year ago and haven't spoken since. I feel stuck in the middle of their rift. Both are stubborn and have too much of an ego to apologize (male ego?) and let bygones be bygones. It's a tense situation. I always had a dream of one big happy family but I wish everyone could act their age and get along and learn to love one another....but it's so tough. I wish I could move away wi th my husband because he alone is a great guy...but I know we will never be allowed to move somewhere for some quality marriage time by the mil :(

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