On my Birthday! Really..

So ladies I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on this bizarre behavior! I came back in town on business and contacted my wife as I arrived. Earlier in the week I had asked her not to buy me anything for my bday but we could go out to eat. Reason: We just bought a 3000 refrigerator and I really don't need anything. She then asked if I wanted to go out to eat so I said yes. Then she asked where? I said --- and she didn't really like it so I said ---- and she said ok.. SO really we go where she wants on my bday! I arrived earlier than my son and wife at the restaurant. When they arrive at least she did lean across the table and give me a peck on the lips. So after dinner we get home and they have a cake and gifts on the table. We do the cake thing, my son made it for me and he is 14 so I comment on the look and thanked him. I sit down to open the gifts which consisted of a belt and a couple shirts. Non of them fit and are too small so I said these are great but I will need a larger size for both. Next gift is a panini pan with a press (to replace the brick wrapped in aluminum foil I had been using). Honestly, I did not want to replace the brick. Secondly, a cooking pan as a gift for the average guy? I an not a chef nor do I really like to cook. SO I guess since I wasn't overly excited about the gift and my wife could read my expressions she says well I will just take it back....... and you need to loose weight so no cake for you! Then she tells me you didn't even look at the patterns on the shirts to see if you liked them so when I return for a bigger size I will know. SO I pulled them out and started looking at them. She said you better say you like them if you know what is good for you in a stern tone! I in turn said "REALLY" you are mad at me because you got the wrong size? She just glared at me. Then she cuts the cake and gives everyone a plate.. I said I don't need one because I am too fat but thanks! She leans over to me and says I better eat it because my son made it for me. WTF? I did and commented to him on how good it tastes. Bedtime came and "NO" sex was even mentioned as she played on her facebook games. She knows that would be the best present she could give me! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME..

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