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How do I keep from feeling I disappointed my son

I've been dealing with a lot of issues in my marriage. My husband isn't abusive or anything like that. It's normal stuff that drives couples apart and we have been seeing a marriage counselor. It just seems like the main issues aren't changing. If we didn't have a son together, I feel like I could easily leave. I dont mean to say that leaving is easy. Having a child together just makes me want to make the most of the situation and "pretend" for the sake of my son. How can I bear to hear him ask "where's daddy" if we separate? How do you keep from hating yourself for not marrying the right person or not being able to make it work?? I'm not asking how to make my marriage work but rather how do you live with yourself when you know you have broken up the family your son has always known ? He is four, by the way.
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