still felling so much anger after a year

Hey many I know how you feel, about a year ago my wife cheated on me with an x of hers, she said she was just going over there to vist and I was a control freak because im the jealous type but finally I let it go and trusted her, big mistake when she left I had a bad feeling then about an hour late I had a gut wrenching feeling that something happened, but did not want to make her think I was a freak so I did not tell her I knew I just knew what she had done, about a week later we were out with her friends drinking and I was getting a good drink on when we decide we were going to go to her friends house while in the truck she said I did something really bad, I said what you kissed someone, she said no worse, I said you slept with someone didn't you, she then started her speech, needless to say it took everything I had not to drive that truck into a tree, I got out her friends house let her go in I stayed out in the truck after she went it I got ou t and dam near broke my fist on the bed of my truck, the next I finailly got the x's number and threatened to kill him if I could find him, mind you I have done 3 tours in Iraq. well I choose to forgive her I think, well she starts sex txting another person just 4 months later I confronted her and she stopped, but even after all of this im a major control freak and I cant stop the thoughts of her cheating with him, the images of those two having sex it makes me sooo angry that it drives me to drink. 1st armored division bravo 2/81

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