Feeling misunderstood

I have been married for a little over two years and We got engaged after 3 months of knowing each other. We have two girls one turned 1 in Feb and the other was born jan 2013. When we first got together the sex was great and often.My husband has a huge sex drive and my sex drive had diminished.If we don't have sex 4 out of seven days he becomes very depressed and it makes everyday a struggle. I am the bread winner and he stays home with the kids everyday.I usually work 50 to 60 hours a week and i am always tired on top of a low libido. He has started to basically only talk to me when i talk to him first. I asked him about this and he says that he is treating me like i treat him when in fact I do not do that to him. There are alot of aspects to this like he is a control freak, everything has to be just so. His idea of intimacy is only physical. I am just at a loss of how we can fix these issues. Nothing i say can fix it only me having sex with him whenever he wants. I feel like that is the only thing that i do that maked him happy.

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