Disclaimer: I do NOT mean to disparage anyone, or anyone's situation - I am not now nor have I ever been in a downright terrible relationship and have no way of knowing how truly terrible it could be - I am making blanked statements and not criticizing any one person's life choices so please do not take it personally.
Every time I come to this sight seeking enlightenment from couples who know more about life than I do, I inevitably read at least one or two post that include some or all of the following (exaggerated) statements:
My husband and I have not had sex for 27 of the 28 years we've been married. He has cheated on me 56 times with 72 women. He resents the fact that I don't-make-enough-money/make-more-money than him and calls me (insert terrible insult). Every time he hits me he says it's my fault/he'll never do it ever again until the next time he gets mad. He does drugs/drinks heavily and even though I make excuses for his problems he criticizes me every chance he gets. I cook, clean, do laundry, iron his panties, and drive him to and from his various sexual liaisons while he does little to no work, and he still doesn't respect me/takes me for granted. I'm covered in bruises and ready to take a long walk off a short pier - I've been thinking of asking him to move out, but maybe I should try to make it work for the kids/the money/the house/my parents/my religion, etc. etc. etc...
What makes us think we have to martyr ourselves for our marriage? Why do we tolerate such sh**ty people in our lives? Its one thing to be held hostage, and that's not the kind of post I'm referring to - maybe he holds all the money, or you have nowhere to stay, and I get that that would be terrifying. It just makes me see red to read posts by employed, articulate, adult women saying terrible things about their partners and ending it with "maybe I should leave" - the end to all of those posts should invariable be: "I am staying somewhere safe, have notified friends and the relevant authorities to my spouses behavior, and have contacted/will be contacting a lawyer."
sorry for the rant
Every time I come to this sight seeking enlightenment from couples who know more about life than I do, I inevitably read at least one or two post that include some or all of the following (exaggerated) statements:
My husband and I have not had sex for 27 of the 28 years we've been married. He has cheated on me 56 times with 72 women. He resents the fact that I don't-make-enough-money/make-more-money than him and calls me (insert terrible insult). Every time he hits me he says it's my fault/he'll never do it ever again until the next time he gets mad. He does drugs/drinks heavily and even though I make excuses for his problems he criticizes me every chance he gets. I cook, clean, do laundry, iron his panties, and drive him to and from his various sexual liaisons while he does little to no work, and he still doesn't respect me/takes me for granted. I'm covered in bruises and ready to take a long walk off a short pier - I've been thinking of asking him to move out, but maybe I should try to make it work for the kids/the money/the house/my parents/my religion, etc. etc. etc...
What makes us think we have to martyr ourselves for our marriage? Why do we tolerate such sh**ty people in our lives? Its one thing to be held hostage, and that's not the kind of post I'm referring to - maybe he holds all the money, or you have nowhere to stay, and I get that that would be terrifying. It just makes me see red to read posts by employed, articulate, adult women saying terrible things about their partners and ending it with "maybe I should leave" - the end to all of those posts should invariable be: "I am staying somewhere safe, have notified friends and the relevant authorities to my spouses behavior, and have contacted/will be contacting a lawyer."
sorry for the rant
Put the internet to work for you.
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