Hi All,
First time ever posting in this forum, and am wanting to get some feedback concerning a recent situation with hubby and I. So here's the deal:
My husband and I have been recently separated, but he wants to work things out so he came to visit me this month. En route to visit me, he stopped off at a golfing convention, and while there, took pictures with a few of the booth girls - these are models who are hired to entice men to certain booths so that they can sell more products.
Well, although I wasn't thrilled by the photos that he took, I understand that it is just a photo and basically harmless fun. What bothered me is that he took a video of one of these girls. While taking this video of her, my husband focused the camera on her butt and thighs. She was wearing a short skirt and imitating a golf swing, which basically just means shimmying her hips back and forth so that her butt had this side to side motion going.
Well, when I saw the video I thought.... okay, taking a photo is one thing, but recording a video is taking it a step further that I saw as completely unnecessary. I just don't see that as something that a married man should do, and it hurt me quite a bit as well as made me feel totally disrespected as his wife. His excuse as to why he took the video was that: "she (the booth model) told me to take it. It wasn't my idea, she just turned around and told me to shoot the video, so i did."
Now my question to all of you ladies is, would this bother you if it were your husband? And to the men, from your point of view as a man who is married, would this be behavior you would deem as acceptable, or would you ever take a video like this as a married guy? I am honestly interested in seeing things from both the male and female point of view, because my husband said he thought the photo and video was "funny" and that he only meant it as a "joke."
When I told him I didn't see anything funny or lighthearted about that, he then proceeded to tell me "if I had known it would bother you, I wouldn't have done it." But the thing is, he knows how sensitive I am, and we have been married for 6 years now, so he's well aware of my emotions and understands what makes me sad/upset. Anyways, when he showed me that video I get the feeling that he was trying to make me jealous.
He did post the photo of him with one of the girls to facebook and got over 100 "likes", and I saw this as his way of getting virtual high-fives from his buddies. He, however, told me that he could care less what his friends think and that he wasn't doing it to try and be "cool."
He did not post the video however, and when I asked him why he responded "I think that the video may be a bit much to post, so I decided not to." Now by him saying that, it tells me he knows that the video was going overboard. So that's why it baffles me that he never considered my feelings or felt like it might bother me for him to do such a thing.
Anyways, I am wondering from both men and women, do you think I am overreacting by asking for a trial separation? It's not just this alone which had driven me to asking him for us to separate, but other issues that have popped up over the years which I saw as insensitive and just a blatant disregard of my emotions.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all for your time.
First time ever posting in this forum, and am wanting to get some feedback concerning a recent situation with hubby and I. So here's the deal:
My husband and I have been recently separated, but he wants to work things out so he came to visit me this month. En route to visit me, he stopped off at a golfing convention, and while there, took pictures with a few of the booth girls - these are models who are hired to entice men to certain booths so that they can sell more products.
Well, although I wasn't thrilled by the photos that he took, I understand that it is just a photo and basically harmless fun. What bothered me is that he took a video of one of these girls. While taking this video of her, my husband focused the camera on her butt and thighs. She was wearing a short skirt and imitating a golf swing, which basically just means shimmying her hips back and forth so that her butt had this side to side motion going.
Well, when I saw the video I thought.... okay, taking a photo is one thing, but recording a video is taking it a step further that I saw as completely unnecessary. I just don't see that as something that a married man should do, and it hurt me quite a bit as well as made me feel totally disrespected as his wife. His excuse as to why he took the video was that: "she (the booth model) told me to take it. It wasn't my idea, she just turned around and told me to shoot the video, so i did."
Now my question to all of you ladies is, would this bother you if it were your husband? And to the men, from your point of view as a man who is married, would this be behavior you would deem as acceptable, or would you ever take a video like this as a married guy? I am honestly interested in seeing things from both the male and female point of view, because my husband said he thought the photo and video was "funny" and that he only meant it as a "joke."
When I told him I didn't see anything funny or lighthearted about that, he then proceeded to tell me "if I had known it would bother you, I wouldn't have done it." But the thing is, he knows how sensitive I am, and we have been married for 6 years now, so he's well aware of my emotions and understands what makes me sad/upset. Anyways, when he showed me that video I get the feeling that he was trying to make me jealous.
He did post the photo of him with one of the girls to facebook and got over 100 "likes", and I saw this as his way of getting virtual high-fives from his buddies. He, however, told me that he could care less what his friends think and that he wasn't doing it to try and be "cool."
He did not post the video however, and when I asked him why he responded "I think that the video may be a bit much to post, so I decided not to." Now by him saying that, it tells me he knows that the video was going overboard. So that's why it baffles me that he never considered my feelings or felt like it might bother me for him to do such a thing.
Anyways, I am wondering from both men and women, do you think I am overreacting by asking for a trial separation? It's not just this alone which had driven me to asking him for us to separate, but other issues that have popped up over the years which I saw as insensitive and just a blatant disregard of my emotions.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all for your time.
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