Which option would you choose?
My friend is currently cheating on his girlfriend of three years. He has had at least two one night stands, as well as other things. My housemate thinks "it's not our place to say anything". If your friend is cheating, whose place is it to tell them that they're acting immorally except for a friend? Isn't that the definition of a friend - to open things up for you; to be honest? Are you truly friends if you cannot say difficult things to one another? I'm starting to wonder whether I even enjoy his company now because I think cheating reflects poorly on one's fundamental character. It doesn't sit well with me to say anything to the poor girl but, equally, it's uncomfortable that I'm aware; I feel hypocritical. I'm sure some of the responses in this thread will be flippant and relegate this thread to melodrama, but those people do not understand the deep and stubborn scars that cheating can have on someone in a long-term relationship. It can trouble them for many years after an d cause serious trust issues and feelings of paranoia, inadequacy, low self-worth and depression.
If you believe it is wrong to tell the girl, can I ask you to give detailed reasoning as to why it is wrong? I often hear lines such as "it's not your relationship" or "it's not your place" or "mind your own business" but never any reasoning behind this. Why is it morally wrong to put the girl out of her misery and save her more upset than to look the other way for your own sake? I'm not going to tell the girl but I feel I'm doing that more for my own good than hers; I ultimately think it's selfish not to tell her, and this troubles me.
Put the internet to work for you.
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