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Worried about what sort of person I've become

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So I've been at quite a low point recently. It kind of started in November when I hooked up with a guy at a party who I really liked who then went onto reject me. I've also been on a couple of dates since and nothing seemed to come from them. However I have been on tinder for a while and I met up with this guy (went round his, he didn't leave far) and we got pretty physical (fingering).

Now a few months ago I never would have let something like this happen and I am worried what people might think about me and stuff idk. I come across quite innocent and I was until a while ago but now it's like I don't care who I hook up with and am worried people will think I'm desperate etc. I don't know why I let this happen - I never would've done something so casual before and I'm slightly worried people might find out or something. Also is it rude to tell him not to say anything to people about what happened and am I stupid for being like this? I want a nice, stable relationship more than anything in the world and I feel like I've given up or something.

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