So,
It's about time I started my own thread as I move into this stage of things. Thanks CW for your group therapy thread. :D
Married 17 years, I'm HD, she is very ND. We "get" each other in almost every way but sex. I first found TAM a year and half ago to read and try and figure out how to get our sex life going. After lots of reading, searching her history, working on myself, trial and error, I finally "got it". Some people just don't like sex much or at all. I couldn't fathom it for the longest time, but it was right there in front of me all the time; doesn't MB, doesn't fantasize, doesn't O, "it's not important", "I have to WANT sex?", etc. Some of you have heard them all. My stoicism, our love, friendship, non-sexual closeness, hope, and more kept me attached to her all of these years. I just can't do it anymore though.
So here I am, waiting to "D". I've got a few months to prepare so that's what I'm trying to get my mind on now. Finances are pretty simple, always had separate accounts, she kept her last name, just some assets to divide. No kids and no drama to unwind. Working out daily. Eating well. Sleeping fine. Need to get house closer to ready to out on market. Thinking of finding another job in the office very soon, or once we split, just to get myself back out in the world more again.
Well, now I have my own corner of TAM so I can stop sh*tting up other threads lol. If anyone's had any questions about me or my sitch I'll be happy to share. I'll be back with more questions and rambling thoughts later. Thanks TAM for all the great advice so far and I'm taking any and all solicited and unsolicited advice on preparing for D.
It's about time I started my own thread as I move into this stage of things. Thanks CW for your group therapy thread. :D
Married 17 years, I'm HD, she is very ND. We "get" each other in almost every way but sex. I first found TAM a year and half ago to read and try and figure out how to get our sex life going. After lots of reading, searching her history, working on myself, trial and error, I finally "got it". Some people just don't like sex much or at all. I couldn't fathom it for the longest time, but it was right there in front of me all the time; doesn't MB, doesn't fantasize, doesn't O, "it's not important", "I have to WANT sex?", etc. Some of you have heard them all. My stoicism, our love, friendship, non-sexual closeness, hope, and more kept me attached to her all of these years. I just can't do it anymore though.
So here I am, waiting to "D". I've got a few months to prepare so that's what I'm trying to get my mind on now. Finances are pretty simple, always had separate accounts, she kept her last name, just some assets to divide. No kids and no drama to unwind. Working out daily. Eating well. Sleeping fine. Need to get house closer to ready to out on market. Thinking of finding another job in the office very soon, or once we split, just to get myself back out in the world more again.
Well, now I have my own corner of TAM so I can stop sh*tting up other threads lol. If anyone's had any questions about me or my sitch I'll be happy to share. I'll be back with more questions and rambling thoughts later. Thanks TAM for all the great advice so far and I'm taking any and all solicited and unsolicited advice on preparing for D.
Put the internet to work for you.
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