I have been with my husband for 14 years. We have been married for 10 years. 3 weeks ago he said he wanted a divorce. Although we've had what I considered normal marriage problems, I never thought things were this bad! He has been very cold for a long time and this has been one of the biggest problems for me. He is also a big liar and it is very hard for me to trust him because of this. He admits being a hard person to live with, but I had put up with it because I love him and wanted to make this work. He told me that he is miserable and he knows I am miserable and that he doesn't want to waste any more of our time, so it is best for us to get a divorce. He doesn't want to try counseling. On a moment of denial and weakness I asked him to consider a separation before going for a divorce and he said that he will try it for me, but that he doesn't think we are fixable and he'd hate to prolong this...I was a little relieved but then he said that he wanted to date and sleep around during the separation, which just crushed me. He says he wants to know if he still can attract somebody new..... We are each others first sexual partner and the idea of that going away just kills me.... I told him that I was not going to be able to take him back after he slept around and that if that was what he wanted then we just should get a divorce... He agreed...
Now the other thing is that we live in the house he grew up. his parents gave him the house and we just recently remodeled. He wants me to find a place.... My first reaction was to get the heck out of the house, but then his parents and my mother told me I shouldn't that if he wanted to divorce then he should be the one to leave. I told him that I wansnt leaving and that if he wanted to leave me then he should leave and he started getting very aggravated and told me that this was the house he grew up in and that why should he leave his house.... I agreed to leave because it hurts to stay here and watch him go out and stay out late, he has continued his life like nothing...het told the people we hang out with and they are just fine and keep hanging out with him as if this was not happening, as if I was never a part of the group. I had been staying quiet, but last night I just couldn't take him coming home at 2 am, when he was always falling asleep by 9 am when we went out....w hen I confronted him he said I had no right to be mad, that we are not together anymore and that I have no say..... He started drinking a lot these last three weeks and going out and staying out really late... I don't know how he can just change like this. He has shown no emotion about the whole divorce situation. I am starting to believe that all these years mean nothing to him, I have so many different emotions running through me....I feel mad, sad, frustrated and so many other ways... I feel like half of me is dying...:confused:
Now the other thing is that we live in the house he grew up. his parents gave him the house and we just recently remodeled. He wants me to find a place.... My first reaction was to get the heck out of the house, but then his parents and my mother told me I shouldn't that if he wanted to divorce then he should be the one to leave. I told him that I wansnt leaving and that if he wanted to leave me then he should leave and he started getting very aggravated and told me that this was the house he grew up in and that why should he leave his house.... I agreed to leave because it hurts to stay here and watch him go out and stay out late, he has continued his life like nothing...het told the people we hang out with and they are just fine and keep hanging out with him as if this was not happening, as if I was never a part of the group. I had been staying quiet, but last night I just couldn't take him coming home at 2 am, when he was always falling asleep by 9 am when we went out....w hen I confronted him he said I had no right to be mad, that we are not together anymore and that I have no say..... He started drinking a lot these last three weeks and going out and staying out really late... I don't know how he can just change like this. He has shown no emotion about the whole divorce situation. I am starting to believe that all these years mean nothing to him, I have so many different emotions running through me....I feel mad, sad, frustrated and so many other ways... I feel like half of me is dying...:confused:
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