Hey all, First Post so go easy on me...
My wife (32) and i (33) have been married for 8 years now, we have two kids (7 & 5). About 4 years ago we went through a bad patch as she had been confiding in another guy no physical affair emotional only. It was deep, im talking creating seperate social media accounts, email addresses etc. I came across the affair on her phone as a text and i confronted her about it and spoke to the OM and basically told him i would break his neck if he interfered again.
Coming out of that bad spell i obviously had trust issues and i asked her to be totally transparent with phones, emails, social media accounts but that never really happened to the degree i had hoped, from then until now we have grown apart.
So fast track to today, i still dont trust her fully and we had a talk last night about our marriage and we both agreed that something needs to change. We havent had sex in 3 years, we sleep in seperate rooms (originally due to problems with youngest one sleeping but has just become the norm), we no longer Kiss, cuddle, hold hands when out or even communicate unless we need to. When we are in company we are like best friends and we can still have a laugh and we act like there is nothing wrong.
I asked her if she would consider Counselling as i said i would happily lay whatever money it was going to take to try and improve our marriage. She doesnt want to speak to anyone else about it but seems to have got it into her head that we will end up seperating anyways.
I was quite firm but cool with her last night and said that for the kids sake i would try anything, cannot imagine life without the kids daily.
We have spoken today and both agreed that for once that the conversation we had last night is the most we have spoke without conflict.
Problem is where to go from here?? Please Help
My wife (32) and i (33) have been married for 8 years now, we have two kids (7 & 5). About 4 years ago we went through a bad patch as she had been confiding in another guy no physical affair emotional only. It was deep, im talking creating seperate social media accounts, email addresses etc. I came across the affair on her phone as a text and i confronted her about it and spoke to the OM and basically told him i would break his neck if he interfered again.
Coming out of that bad spell i obviously had trust issues and i asked her to be totally transparent with phones, emails, social media accounts but that never really happened to the degree i had hoped, from then until now we have grown apart.
So fast track to today, i still dont trust her fully and we had a talk last night about our marriage and we both agreed that something needs to change. We havent had sex in 3 years, we sleep in seperate rooms (originally due to problems with youngest one sleeping but has just become the norm), we no longer Kiss, cuddle, hold hands when out or even communicate unless we need to. When we are in company we are like best friends and we can still have a laugh and we act like there is nothing wrong.
I asked her if she would consider Counselling as i said i would happily lay whatever money it was going to take to try and improve our marriage. She doesnt want to speak to anyone else about it but seems to have got it into her head that we will end up seperating anyways.
I was quite firm but cool with her last night and said that for the kids sake i would try anything, cannot imagine life without the kids daily.
We have spoken today and both agreed that for once that the conversation we had last night is the most we have spoke without conflict.
Problem is where to go from here?? Please Help
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