Hi everyone,
I wanted to post this because I need some opinions. I'm aware there are other posts with frustrated women like me, but I had some details that may help others to give input to my situation.
I'm a 28 year old woman married to a 36 year old man. We've been together for almost 11 years now and married for almost a year. He was my first actual long term relationship. Our sex life is very unsatisfactory to me and it's driving me crazy at this point. When we first met, it wasn't an issue and I think I really started realizing the decline some years ago, but definitely within the past 3 years. I love being intimate even though I've never had an orgasm. I desperately miss passion in my life.
Healthwise, I am slim and was blessed with a fast metabolism/figure so I make sure I don't go over 120 lbs at nearly 5'7 (currently 117). I didn't lose my figure, so that can't be the reason for the decline. My husband is slim but he doesn't take care of himself that much (slim with potbelly) due to drinking beers every night (at least 7 cans), and he smokes heavily. He's a professional with a stressful job, so I don't say anything about that. He likes to play video games for hours as well after work.
Sometimes, I have to leave for a week or so every month to help my sister and our sick mom who has a lot of health issues. That has been hard and I think that has paid a toll on our marriage (he doesn't like when I have to leave).
~EVERY TIME we watch a movie or show with a sex scene on, he'll either shift to smoke a cigarette, fast-forward the scene, shift to take a swig of beer, get up to go to get another beer or start talking to me to shift the attention away from the scene. I noticed this for years now and never told him I observed it. I find this very strange because he has no problem watching GB porn when I'm not there. Men, can you help me understand this?
He knows I have vibrators and I don't hide that. He's never said anything about being offended or threatened by them. He wouldn't be interested in joining me if he knew I were using one either.
He is a good man. He gives me kisses every day and tells me he loves me every day and it's reciprocated. However, sexually... there is hardly anything. It's sad when I get more attention/looks from other men than my husband. I really don't know if it's related to vessels (low blood circulation), low testosterone, just not sexually attracted anymore, etc? I've come to him before about my feelings, however I don't want to keep bringing it up to him or make him feel forced. I refuse to beg for sex. Am I in the wrong? Do I sound too needy or entitled? Am I expecting too much? I know sex changes in a long term relationship/ marriage, but 1 a month is too little. I really feel like he's no longer sexually attracted to me anymore and I feel like he married me to settle.
Sometimes I think I was too young to get into a serious relationship because I didn't realize certain things before and occasionally wonder about "what ifs" with other guys who were interested while I was in a relationship. I don't want my frustration to turn into full blown resentment especially because we are mostly fine otherwise.
I'm sorry for the length, I just need some advice.
I wanted to post this because I need some opinions. I'm aware there are other posts with frustrated women like me, but I had some details that may help others to give input to my situation.
I'm a 28 year old woman married to a 36 year old man. We've been together for almost 11 years now and married for almost a year. He was my first actual long term relationship. Our sex life is very unsatisfactory to me and it's driving me crazy at this point. When we first met, it wasn't an issue and I think I really started realizing the decline some years ago, but definitely within the past 3 years. I love being intimate even though I've never had an orgasm. I desperately miss passion in my life.
Healthwise, I am slim and was blessed with a fast metabolism/figure so I make sure I don't go over 120 lbs at nearly 5'7 (currently 117). I didn't lose my figure, so that can't be the reason for the decline. My husband is slim but he doesn't take care of himself that much (slim with potbelly) due to drinking beers every night (at least 7 cans), and he smokes heavily. He's a professional with a stressful job, so I don't say anything about that. He likes to play video games for hours as well after work.
Sometimes, I have to leave for a week or so every month to help my sister and our sick mom who has a lot of health issues. That has been hard and I think that has paid a toll on our marriage (he doesn't like when I have to leave).
~EVERY TIME we watch a movie or show with a sex scene on, he'll either shift to smoke a cigarette, fast-forward the scene, shift to take a swig of beer, get up to go to get another beer or start talking to me to shift the attention away from the scene. I noticed this for years now and never told him I observed it. I find this very strange because he has no problem watching GB porn when I'm not there. Men, can you help me understand this?
He knows I have vibrators and I don't hide that. He's never said anything about being offended or threatened by them. He wouldn't be interested in joining me if he knew I were using one either.
He is a good man. He gives me kisses every day and tells me he loves me every day and it's reciprocated. However, sexually... there is hardly anything. It's sad when I get more attention/looks from other men than my husband. I really don't know if it's related to vessels (low blood circulation), low testosterone, just not sexually attracted anymore, etc? I've come to him before about my feelings, however I don't want to keep bringing it up to him or make him feel forced. I refuse to beg for sex. Am I in the wrong? Do I sound too needy or entitled? Am I expecting too much? I know sex changes in a long term relationship/ marriage, but 1 a month is too little. I really feel like he's no longer sexually attracted to me anymore and I feel like he married me to settle.
Sometimes I think I was too young to get into a serious relationship because I didn't realize certain things before and occasionally wonder about "what ifs" with other guys who were interested while I was in a relationship. I don't want my frustration to turn into full blown resentment especially because we are mostly fine otherwise.
I'm sorry for the length, I just need some advice.
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