My last thread
http://ift.tt/1yp6oPL
Well where do I even start.. Last monday, a week ago. I blew my top. So stressed out, not knowing how to express my frustration, hurt, anger. Everytime I have in the past it has fallen on def ears and the old patterns continue only after a few weeks and I give up again. I told him I was moving out.
After my ubrupt explosion and after things calmed down. My husband and I talked about things. My husband told me he knows hes been a bad husband, he came to that realization 2 weeks before I blew up. He has been doing more to help around the house, helping with the kids more. Doing things he doesn't or wouldn't normally do. He said he's been lost ( join the club). He asked me to give him another chance to make things right.
The thing is I don't know if I can, I have told him this. He wants to fix our marriage now after 5 years of it being a mess. When i was ready to move out. I have my doubts, I am having a really hard time, because I want it to work, but just like all of the other times I am affraid it will go back to exactly the way it was. I am affraid to invest my self again. To protect my self I have completly emotionally checked out. I know once that happens its really hard to get it back, if ever. I still love him. It feels like one big mind **** again. I realize that if it doesn't work this time, it never will!
Now I know that repairing the damage isnt going to happen in a week or in a month. Its an on going process. It is something that we both need to work on.
I dont trust him.. He flat out lied to me when I asked him a couple of things. I called him on it. He cant be honest. Im pretty sure he doesnt trust me either.
Rug sweeping. He doesnt bring it up and neither do it. Dont know how to resolve current issues at hand.
commmunication - neither one of us have good communication skills. I bottle things that bother me, instead of getting them out and worked out. I blow up when I cant take it anymore. My biggest habit is he will ask me what wrong, I will say nothing, when there is something wrong.
He blows up on the spot and its over and done with for him, until the next time.
Sex- its more mechanical then anything else, when it does happen No passion, no fourplay, just get it in, get it off, get it out, his words.
I also won't initiate sex due to lack of self confidence and fear of rejection. I know this is a big issue for him.
I feel that I cant just let loose and be who I am.
Lack of intimacy- The closeness and connection is gone. Can't talk to him about anything.
I am pretty sure I have forgotten to add some things. If I think of more I will add them.
http://ift.tt/1yp6oPL
Well where do I even start.. Last monday, a week ago. I blew my top. So stressed out, not knowing how to express my frustration, hurt, anger. Everytime I have in the past it has fallen on def ears and the old patterns continue only after a few weeks and I give up again. I told him I was moving out.
After my ubrupt explosion and after things calmed down. My husband and I talked about things. My husband told me he knows hes been a bad husband, he came to that realization 2 weeks before I blew up. He has been doing more to help around the house, helping with the kids more. Doing things he doesn't or wouldn't normally do. He said he's been lost ( join the club). He asked me to give him another chance to make things right.
The thing is I don't know if I can, I have told him this. He wants to fix our marriage now after 5 years of it being a mess. When i was ready to move out. I have my doubts, I am having a really hard time, because I want it to work, but just like all of the other times I am affraid it will go back to exactly the way it was. I am affraid to invest my self again. To protect my self I have completly emotionally checked out. I know once that happens its really hard to get it back, if ever. I still love him. It feels like one big mind **** again. I realize that if it doesn't work this time, it never will!
Now I know that repairing the damage isnt going to happen in a week or in a month. Its an on going process. It is something that we both need to work on.
I dont trust him.. He flat out lied to me when I asked him a couple of things. I called him on it. He cant be honest. Im pretty sure he doesnt trust me either.
Rug sweeping. He doesnt bring it up and neither do it. Dont know how to resolve current issues at hand.
commmunication - neither one of us have good communication skills. I bottle things that bother me, instead of getting them out and worked out. I blow up when I cant take it anymore. My biggest habit is he will ask me what wrong, I will say nothing, when there is something wrong.
He blows up on the spot and its over and done with for him, until the next time.
Sex- its more mechanical then anything else, when it does happen No passion, no fourplay, just get it in, get it off, get it out, his words.
I also won't initiate sex due to lack of self confidence and fear of rejection. I know this is a big issue for him.
I feel that I cant just let loose and be who I am.
Lack of intimacy- The closeness and connection is gone. Can't talk to him about anything.
I am pretty sure I have forgotten to add some things. If I think of more I will add them.
Put the internet to work for you.
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