So husband comes home, standing in the kitchen, daughter (senior in HS) a room away with back to husband watching TV, husband says (without addressing anyone) "Your teacher called me today at work." I am clueless what he is talking about. Daughter does not reply immediately so husband gets upset (huff). She then replies in a low low which makes husband madder. Nothing was said to me so I have no idea what is going on but I am standing in the kitchen too. Husband then in a very stern, demanding, upset voice tells daughter everything teacher had said on the phone. Daughter gets upset and tells her dad that she knew all this, the teacher spoke to her too.
I chime in confused and say I understand both sides but I don't know why husband is so upset. He launches in on the whole conversation he had with teacher yet again. I was standing right there, I heard it the first time. So I tell him to stop, that emotions are running high on everyone's part and that we need to let this subject rest. If looks from husband could kill.
I finished making dinner and I left so I would not say something I would regret. I did tell husband where I was going. I had to calm down and pull my thoughts together. Once I calmed down and I called husband on my cell and asked him if he was ready to talk. I then asked him if he had wanted to talk to our daughter why he did not go into the living room, face her and ask her what was going on so she could have a chance to explain? I told him that she is nearly a legal adult and he is treating her like she is a 10 year old. I told him that his communication was not effective and really was more demands that communication and that was not one ounce of support fro him to her on the subject. I told him he could have asked, listened and then gave her support while still addressing that she had to follow rules.
So I want to ask for some input here on this situation. Am I expecting too much from my husband? Should I have let it go and supported his way of handling the situation?
I later explained this all to a friend and she tells me that they have dealt with the same in their house and I just need to let go of it and forgive. I was shocked at her response. My husband was not hitting and calling names but he was very demanding to the point I not only felt the situation was needlessly out of hand but I felt it was abusive.
I chime in confused and say I understand both sides but I don't know why husband is so upset. He launches in on the whole conversation he had with teacher yet again. I was standing right there, I heard it the first time. So I tell him to stop, that emotions are running high on everyone's part and that we need to let this subject rest. If looks from husband could kill.
I finished making dinner and I left so I would not say something I would regret. I did tell husband where I was going. I had to calm down and pull my thoughts together. Once I calmed down and I called husband on my cell and asked him if he was ready to talk. I then asked him if he had wanted to talk to our daughter why he did not go into the living room, face her and ask her what was going on so she could have a chance to explain? I told him that she is nearly a legal adult and he is treating her like she is a 10 year old. I told him that his communication was not effective and really was more demands that communication and that was not one ounce of support fro him to her on the subject. I told him he could have asked, listened and then gave her support while still addressing that she had to follow rules.
So I want to ask for some input here on this situation. Am I expecting too much from my husband? Should I have let it go and supported his way of handling the situation?
I later explained this all to a friend and she tells me that they have dealt with the same in their house and I just need to let go of it and forgive. I was shocked at her response. My husband was not hitting and calling names but he was very demanding to the point I not only felt the situation was needlessly out of hand but I felt it was abusive.
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