I posted here quite awhile ago for basically the same reasons and am experiencing similar issues again. My husband goes from being the sweetest, most loving and caring spouse to the nastiest, meanest, most cruel person I've ever encountered, on a fairly regular basis.
His list of excuses for his nastiness is endless - he's stressed out from work, he can't rely on me, he's tired, he's so busy...on and on and on.
The latest example goes back a few weeks.
We just recently returned from an absolutely wonderful 2 week trip in Indonesia. It was incredibly relaxing and we had a ton of amazing quality time together. We really connected, and I felt more bonded to him than I have in a long time.
We arrived home yesterday.
Not even a day after getting home from holidays he's already lacing into me. I'm useless, I'm unreliable, I don't do anything right, without him nothing would get done, if I was his employee, he would fire me. Remember, we haven't even been home a day and already I do nothing right.
The icing on the cake was when he discovered the packaging from a bikini I purchased for an upcoming girls only trip to Las Vegas. I purchased a thong bikini, something I have owned and worn before plenty of times in the past. I elected not to show him, as I knew he would lace into me about what a "*****" or "****" I am. Sure enough, he brought it up and said only porn stars wear thongs and that I'm such a ***** for even wanting to wear one. I'm a faithful wife, enjoying my body, and feel every right to wear what I choose to. I am not gallivanting around naked, nor am I looking for attention. I am European and this is the style of bathing suit I like. I have even gone topless on various beaches around the world in our travels in front of my husband and he never took an issue with it. Why he has such an issue with my wearing a thong bikini now - I have no clue.
We've been married 7 years, together 12. He shows glimmers of improvement, only to have constant set backs where I am the punching bag for his insecurities, him feeling threatened, losing control, feeling abandoned (our therapist's favourite).
I just feel so stupid for thinking things had finally changed only to be sadly proven right again for knowing he would revert back to his usual ways as soon as real life set in again.
Do I have a hope in hell of ever improving my marriage? I can only walk away so many times (which is in the thousands now) and swallow his endless insults, and choose the high road.
We've been seeing a therapist for almost the entirety of our marriage. She tells us how much we've "improved" but he's never really changed or bothered to get over his abusive ways.
Any suggestions, can anyone relate?
His list of excuses for his nastiness is endless - he's stressed out from work, he can't rely on me, he's tired, he's so busy...on and on and on.
The latest example goes back a few weeks.
We just recently returned from an absolutely wonderful 2 week trip in Indonesia. It was incredibly relaxing and we had a ton of amazing quality time together. We really connected, and I felt more bonded to him than I have in a long time.
We arrived home yesterday.
Not even a day after getting home from holidays he's already lacing into me. I'm useless, I'm unreliable, I don't do anything right, without him nothing would get done, if I was his employee, he would fire me. Remember, we haven't even been home a day and already I do nothing right.
The icing on the cake was when he discovered the packaging from a bikini I purchased for an upcoming girls only trip to Las Vegas. I purchased a thong bikini, something I have owned and worn before plenty of times in the past. I elected not to show him, as I knew he would lace into me about what a "*****" or "****" I am. Sure enough, he brought it up and said only porn stars wear thongs and that I'm such a ***** for even wanting to wear one. I'm a faithful wife, enjoying my body, and feel every right to wear what I choose to. I am not gallivanting around naked, nor am I looking for attention. I am European and this is the style of bathing suit I like. I have even gone topless on various beaches around the world in our travels in front of my husband and he never took an issue with it. Why he has such an issue with my wearing a thong bikini now - I have no clue.
We've been married 7 years, together 12. He shows glimmers of improvement, only to have constant set backs where I am the punching bag for his insecurities, him feeling threatened, losing control, feeling abandoned (our therapist's favourite).
I just feel so stupid for thinking things had finally changed only to be sadly proven right again for knowing he would revert back to his usual ways as soon as real life set in again.
Do I have a hope in hell of ever improving my marriage? I can only walk away so many times (which is in the thousands now) and swallow his endless insults, and choose the high road.
We've been seeing a therapist for almost the entirety of our marriage. She tells us how much we've "improved" but he's never really changed or bothered to get over his abusive ways.
Any suggestions, can anyone relate?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment