I'd rather just get on with my own life than have to make her jealous, which isn't going to work at this rate. Academically she has won. Physically as a girl she has won, she is good looking and Superman is a higher value male to start with (the majority of his Facebook friends are girls, as I said he's a good-looking smart guy, kudos). They may or may not be dating.
The only reason she's winning at all, however, is because of my stupid notions of social hierarchy and success in the professional sphere. At the risk of sounding racist, her strict Asian parents have disciplined her well; she actually feels guilty for considering dropping her extracurricular workload (she told me this when we were dating, that is one of the reasons why she dumped me-lower priority feelsbadman).
But because of the way I see the world every achievement like this puts her up on a pedestal, and makes me going 'yay got an essay in on time' sound like a lower-value male.
How do I stop thinking someone is better than me because they are e.g. a society representative, or have a lower body fat, or earn more (or probably will earn more as she'll be a scientist one day I'm sure), etc.? I have become really shallow and materialist in that sense, practically verging on the old misc mantra 'disregard bitches, acquire money and aesthetics'
Yes I know I'm obsessing but if I don't get to the bottom of this then this pattern of obsessing over grades, money, looks and social status may repeat in future relationships.
The extent of it is almost fascist; the way I see it if we were in a fascist society she would be in the master race because of this, whereas I would be in the firing squad simply because I am nice but average. And I'm getting fed up of this chasing self improvement for status because it's not making me happy
Tl; dr ex has been trained to be Supergirl academically and in the extracurricular world, cba competing but to compete is the way I've understood my world since being overshadowed by my brother at 10 years old, why do I feel this makes me a lesser person?
Put the internet to work for you.
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