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My husband is being so wishy washy and it's killing me

I don't know what to do anymore.

Today is our fifth anniversary. He had an EA that turned PA in March. He left us to be with her.

He comes over every night for dinner.

Last night he told me he just has to walk this path or he'd never know and he couldn't be with me if he didn't know.

He tells me every day that he loves me. We hold hands. He hugs me and kisses my forehead before he leaves.

He's going out of town with her tonight for the weekend (on our anniversary and taking our son) and he told me he wanted to stop by to see me before he picked our son up from daycare because of our anniversary.

He changed his mind and said it was getting too late and I know that's the truth. He said he really did want to come. Our son is pretty routine oriented so he has to go to bed at a certain time.

I took him off my Twitter and Facebook a week ago and he freaked out and begged me to put him back. I changed the locks on our apartment and he begged me not to do it and to give him a key.

He doesn't take any of his stuff. Just a suitcase with a few things when he left the night before Easter.

Today he told me to keep going on with all the changes I've been making. That he loves me very much.

I really, really want my husband back. We've been together seven years and it's the best seven years of my life. We have a beautiful family and he really, really is a good man.

We were in a rut and I was focused on the kids and the career and it became a sexless marriage. I've been working hard on scaling back my work since he left and I started running it feels so good to run. I am making positive life changes for myself.

The back and forth is killing me.

I told him today that I was going to drive over to where we got married and leave my wedding bouquet there as a kind of goodbye to our relationship. A way for me to clear my head. He begged me not to go.

What is going on with him? I know he loves me. He's not lying about that.

This is the lowest day I think I've ever had. He's with her on our fifth anniversary and I'm eating a lean cuisine alone with the cat. I've become the cat lady.

IFTTT

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