I am hoping to get a lot of advice here and I will make this as simple as I can.
I have been married for 24 years. My H has had a drug problem for more than 10 years. He has been to rehab, counseling, and we even split up once for a few months. We got back together after his promise to never use again. He uses for a while (6 months to a year) then he will clean up for 2 or 3 months, then starts using again. This has caused many many problems in our marriage and I dont think I even feel the same about him anymore. I love him very much but something has been lost.
He is using again now and keeps telling me he just relapsed and is putting a stop to it. Well, he has been putting a stop to it for at least 5 months now. Maybe he is really trying and is just not able to quit. I'm not sure if he is being sincere and really trying or just manipulating me so he can continue to use and I will stay with him. He is very convincing when we talk.
I'm sure he loves me and he tries to show me that every day. He works and supports me, he hugs me and talks to me if I am feeling down, he takes me places, does whatever he thinks will make me happy. However, the drugs have an effect on his mind. He gets very depressed, then very angry, etc.
I think about divorce every day, but for some reason I can not bring myself to leave. He convinces me that he loves me and is going to quit using and I always believe him. He knows how to talk to me, I dont know, maybe he is sincere. I guess I am in denial.
Most days I just want to walk out but I feel sorry for him and I also worry about what he will do if I leave.
How do I cope? Is he really sincere or am I just naive? Please help! I am lost and confused and very unhappy. I dont want to hurt him and I dont want to make a big mistake.
I have been married for 24 years. My H has had a drug problem for more than 10 years. He has been to rehab, counseling, and we even split up once for a few months. We got back together after his promise to never use again. He uses for a while (6 months to a year) then he will clean up for 2 or 3 months, then starts using again. This has caused many many problems in our marriage and I dont think I even feel the same about him anymore. I love him very much but something has been lost.
He is using again now and keeps telling me he just relapsed and is putting a stop to it. Well, he has been putting a stop to it for at least 5 months now. Maybe he is really trying and is just not able to quit. I'm not sure if he is being sincere and really trying or just manipulating me so he can continue to use and I will stay with him. He is very convincing when we talk.
I'm sure he loves me and he tries to show me that every day. He works and supports me, he hugs me and talks to me if I am feeling down, he takes me places, does whatever he thinks will make me happy. However, the drugs have an effect on his mind. He gets very depressed, then very angry, etc.
I think about divorce every day, but for some reason I can not bring myself to leave. He convinces me that he loves me and is going to quit using and I always believe him. He knows how to talk to me, I dont know, maybe he is sincere. I guess I am in denial.
Most days I just want to walk out but I feel sorry for him and I also worry about what he will do if I leave.
How do I cope? Is he really sincere or am I just naive? Please help! I am lost and confused and very unhappy. I dont want to hurt him and I dont want to make a big mistake.
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