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FWH is LD for me, was HD for OW

How does a BS cope with the fact that FWS was HD for OW, sexting, eroticism, sex as often as they could get it(read all the emails: big mistake). But for me: complacency, little to no initiating, no spontaneity, no oral though I enjoy doing oral for him, sex maybe 1X/2wks, etc.

He claims I am not second best, that he is attracted to me, likes what I do, loves me, does not think about OW,etc. Its been almost 3 years from Dday, we are in pretty good R, not perfect but worth staying together for at this point. He knows I am frustrated, feeling deficient, I even admitted to masturbating to lessen the stress, try not to nag or complain or pressure.

He seems depressed, gaining a little weight, on the verge of retirement, but had T tested out OK. I personally think he has some self esteem issues going on over his dishonorable behavior that is not resolved but will not talk to me about it.

At this point, I can only guess that this is caused by depression or he really doesn't love me or finds sex with me a duty...I am at the end of my rope trying to seduce him, please him when he should be doing everything he can to win ME back...am I being impatient, selfish? Any ideas as to what may be going on?

I am 99% sure he has been faithful as I am 100% still vigilant with his blessing and full transparency.

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