My husband is Spanish and has a taste for drama but this time he went too far…
We've been together 3 years and married 4. He moved to my country and while we had money and my business was going great we were ok. We were having some issues like any couple but we were happy. Or at least I thought we were.
Anyhow we are both young but I we had different life styles. He was not working for two years while he was on unemployment because as we are in EU he feared his unemployment would be cut short but also because he was learning the language.
I think he worked for 8 months. He did not adapt, had a work accident (a contusion on one leg) because of a colleague and this was very traumatic for him. He did want us to move to Spain because my business was going bad. So because his flat was let by that moment he went ahead and moved with his parents and got a job so he could make some money, rent a flat while I was supposed to liquidate some things, got accepted to an MBA and move to Spain.
I have to point out that his mother is weird and although she has a husband she needs her younger son for a sort of what I call a weird triangle. I mean she has her husband for the role of a husband but she wants my husband to be her confident, she wants him to drive her around, she wants and goes out with him and his friends.
He never wanted to get married before us so she is not such a big fan of me. I do not know what she did with her older son (because she has 3 boys) but they do not see each other for more than 15 years, and she does not know her grandsons. The other brother moved to another corner of Spain but here she saw her nieces so she does not expect or want her "baby boy" to have children etc.
He goes to Spain and everything is very much ok until two months ago when at his persistence because he was always asking me to send me money I said ok. And this is when everything started – we fight an entire month because he felt obliged to send me money but he didn't want to and then out of the blue 4 weeks ago he says that even if I came to Spain I should think of living with friends from MBA and I was thinking is all because of the dam money. A week after this he is furious and he wants a divorce, goes on that he does not love me anymore, does not want me and well I am shocked because I do not understand where this came from and I tend to not believe him. I am thinking this is another tantrum because he tends to act childish sometimes because of the upbringing. So I decide to tell him that I am ok with the divorce and everything and he pedaled back that maybe we are rushing etc. Then he has problems at work and on top of that the family that was renting the flat decides to live and he has to pay the mortgage and I am tired with the fights over money and I am told him that is ok if he does not want to help me.
On last Wednesday he calls me out of the blue and he is normal for the first 10 minutes telling me that his flat is OK, the tenants left it in good conditions, that we could live there and after 10 minutes he starts we the fact that he cares about me but he does not want to be with me (something very twisted) and starts to tell me all the bad things that you can imagine, that after we get divorced he will never marry again, that he does not wants another woman because I supposedly our marriage was so bad, that he will not regret me for pushing me away and I do not understand why is he calling me if I am so bad, selfish and you name it. He does not know why he is calling me, he wants us to be friends and I am really messed up.
I do not understand him. He told me all those things three times already. I got that he is serious but I never got through something like this and I am hurt and scared and I do not know how to handle this situation. He does not care about my feelings he just wants to hurt me. I can't deal with the drama. I placed all my effort in getting to a top ten school in Spain and now that everything is closer and I can't undo anything I've done.
However I need to go on with my life and I do not know how to start. I mean emotionally I am a wreck and last two months have been an emotional turmoil with all the fights after last week is finally sinking in that everything about the divorce is real and I feel abandoned and just used. Again I do not know how to get through this and what I am supposed to do in order to go on with my life.
:(
We've been together 3 years and married 4. He moved to my country and while we had money and my business was going great we were ok. We were having some issues like any couple but we were happy. Or at least I thought we were.
Anyhow we are both young but I we had different life styles. He was not working for two years while he was on unemployment because as we are in EU he feared his unemployment would be cut short but also because he was learning the language.
I think he worked for 8 months. He did not adapt, had a work accident (a contusion on one leg) because of a colleague and this was very traumatic for him. He did want us to move to Spain because my business was going bad. So because his flat was let by that moment he went ahead and moved with his parents and got a job so he could make some money, rent a flat while I was supposed to liquidate some things, got accepted to an MBA and move to Spain.
I have to point out that his mother is weird and although she has a husband she needs her younger son for a sort of what I call a weird triangle. I mean she has her husband for the role of a husband but she wants my husband to be her confident, she wants him to drive her around, she wants and goes out with him and his friends.
He never wanted to get married before us so she is not such a big fan of me. I do not know what she did with her older son (because she has 3 boys) but they do not see each other for more than 15 years, and she does not know her grandsons. The other brother moved to another corner of Spain but here she saw her nieces so she does not expect or want her "baby boy" to have children etc.
He goes to Spain and everything is very much ok until two months ago when at his persistence because he was always asking me to send me money I said ok. And this is when everything started – we fight an entire month because he felt obliged to send me money but he didn't want to and then out of the blue 4 weeks ago he says that even if I came to Spain I should think of living with friends from MBA and I was thinking is all because of the dam money. A week after this he is furious and he wants a divorce, goes on that he does not love me anymore, does not want me and well I am shocked because I do not understand where this came from and I tend to not believe him. I am thinking this is another tantrum because he tends to act childish sometimes because of the upbringing. So I decide to tell him that I am ok with the divorce and everything and he pedaled back that maybe we are rushing etc. Then he has problems at work and on top of that the family that was renting the flat decides to live and he has to pay the mortgage and I am tired with the fights over money and I am told him that is ok if he does not want to help me.
On last Wednesday he calls me out of the blue and he is normal for the first 10 minutes telling me that his flat is OK, the tenants left it in good conditions, that we could live there and after 10 minutes he starts we the fact that he cares about me but he does not want to be with me (something very twisted) and starts to tell me all the bad things that you can imagine, that after we get divorced he will never marry again, that he does not wants another woman because I supposedly our marriage was so bad, that he will not regret me for pushing me away and I do not understand why is he calling me if I am so bad, selfish and you name it. He does not know why he is calling me, he wants us to be friends and I am really messed up.
I do not understand him. He told me all those things three times already. I got that he is serious but I never got through something like this and I am hurt and scared and I do not know how to handle this situation. He does not care about my feelings he just wants to hurt me. I can't deal with the drama. I placed all my effort in getting to a top ten school in Spain and now that everything is closer and I can't undo anything I've done.
However I need to go on with my life and I do not know how to start. I mean emotionally I am a wreck and last two months have been an emotional turmoil with all the fights after last week is finally sinking in that everything about the divorce is real and I feel abandoned and just used. Again I do not know how to get through this and what I am supposed to do in order to go on with my life.
:(
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