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It's hard...well, not really...

Just want some perspective here, if possible.

married over 5 years, together nearly 9, no kids...sex life in general has become pretty standard in the recent year. partially, I feel we've reached a stage where togetherness means more than actual intercourse. we usually have sex 1-2 times a week and it's usually good and intense and satsifying.

However, in just the last week...we've attempted sex 3 times and all have failed because H can't stay up. It makes him furious/sad/baffled and of course, no matter what he says, it's impossible for me not to take it personally. He did say that he keeps over-thinking while we're in the midst of the deed and then negative thoughts just sorta take over and the mood dies. All I do is say "I love you" and "It's OK"...and both things are true...but I'd be lying if I said the situation doesn't make me feel pretty horrible, too.

So...question is...what can I do to help? Once in awhile, no big deal, it happens. But it's becoming a pattern and I don't know how to help at all. Any advice? Thanks!!!

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