I have issues with taking my husband's moods very personally. If he looks unhappy or grumpy, I am convinced it has something to do with me. This causes us some problems because he never wants to talk when he's in a bad mood but I can't sit still until I can "fix it'! I grew up with a very moody father and I had to read his body language to know what he was really feeling because he was often sarcastic or what they call "passive aggressive".
For example, last night my husband had a few drinks with some friends and alcohol always puts him in a bad mood. Even knowing this, when he got home, I sensed his demeanor and immediately went in on him....what's wrong, is it this or that or the other....it annoys him until he ends up saying something hurtful, and then I walk off upset mumbling under my breath (loud enough for him to hear) which makes him mad because he feels disrespected. In hindsight it is easy for me to see things this clearly, but when I am in the situation I just want so badly to please him (even if his mood has nothing to do with me). This morning he wakes up in a funk and I ask him whats wrong....he says "you know what's wrong".....("my mouth" as he calls it when I feel hurt by something he has said....I agree its disrespectful and gets me no positive results.....ignoring and staying quiet always does but easier said than done sometimes).....he left for the day so I am wondering if any of you were in t his situation, what should my response be to him when he comes home? What would you want? How should I react to him?
I know this must sound so trivial but at certain times of the month everything feels like an issue (as you will see from my frequent posts today!) :(
Thanks in advance for any input/advice.
For example, last night my husband had a few drinks with some friends and alcohol always puts him in a bad mood. Even knowing this, when he got home, I sensed his demeanor and immediately went in on him....what's wrong, is it this or that or the other....it annoys him until he ends up saying something hurtful, and then I walk off upset mumbling under my breath (loud enough for him to hear) which makes him mad because he feels disrespected. In hindsight it is easy for me to see things this clearly, but when I am in the situation I just want so badly to please him (even if his mood has nothing to do with me). This morning he wakes up in a funk and I ask him whats wrong....he says "you know what's wrong".....("my mouth" as he calls it when I feel hurt by something he has said....I agree its disrespectful and gets me no positive results.....ignoring and staying quiet always does but easier said than done sometimes).....he left for the day so I am wondering if any of you were in t his situation, what should my response be to him when he comes home? What would you want? How should I react to him?
I know this must sound so trivial but at certain times of the month everything feels like an issue (as you will see from my frequent posts today!) :(
Thanks in advance for any input/advice.
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