I don't know where to start because my thoughts are all over the place. Background: growing my dad used to hit my mom, and I would hear her scream, yell and cry. Some days he would rant for hours! I was (still am) a light sleeper, so I was awake for most of their fights and abuse.
Now: I resent my mom for letting me grow up in an unhealthy environment. Honestly, I feel like as a parent (ok I'm in my early 20s, don't have a kid, immature maybe I shouldn't judge her) she should have protected me. See if I had a child, I would do my duty as a parent regardless of the other parent. Sometimes I feel dead inside because every one act as if all of this never happened. And I'm just selfish for being angry.
I have been reading TAM for 2yrs and I want people to kind of help me. Finally, I'm struggling with relationship with men. Most people who know me tell me that I'm nice, always helping, sweet, caring, compassionate.
Yet, most of guys who dated me would probably use the B word to describe me.
I have walked from relationship for no reason. I'm currently seeing a guy who I like, but I have no desire to see him or talk to him when he wants to.
I have never cried when I ended a R or was dumped. I'm worried because I feel like a push guys away.
I guess my question is whether I'm being selfish for resenting my mother and whether I should address my flakiness with my date.
Thanks for reading and I'm sorry for any mistakes I may have made (typing from my iphone).
Now: I resent my mom for letting me grow up in an unhealthy environment. Honestly, I feel like as a parent (ok I'm in my early 20s, don't have a kid, immature maybe I shouldn't judge her) she should have protected me. See if I had a child, I would do my duty as a parent regardless of the other parent. Sometimes I feel dead inside because every one act as if all of this never happened. And I'm just selfish for being angry.
I have been reading TAM for 2yrs and I want people to kind of help me. Finally, I'm struggling with relationship with men. Most people who know me tell me that I'm nice, always helping, sweet, caring, compassionate.
Yet, most of guys who dated me would probably use the B word to describe me.
I have walked from relationship for no reason. I'm currently seeing a guy who I like, but I have no desire to see him or talk to him when he wants to.
I have never cried when I ended a R or was dumped. I'm worried because I feel like a push guys away.
I guess my question is whether I'm being selfish for resenting my mother and whether I should address my flakiness with my date.
Thanks for reading and I'm sorry for any mistakes I may have made (typing from my iphone).
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment