Is it possible to find your partner somewhat boring but still be happy with them and want to continue the relationship?
I ask this because my boyfriend has told me I am boring on at least 5 occasions in the past few months.
When we first started talking etc. he told me he found conversations with me really interesting, and we used to talk for hours and hours so I never thought there was a problem. (We were also long-distance then)
Now we live together, and he has told me these things during arguments, or otherwise. The other day, we were shopping and for some reason he got annoyed at me just because I was saying that I needed to go to a cash machine. Then he started saying he wasn't enjoying the shopping trip with me, and I 'don't enjoy anything'. which is ridiculous, we had been in several shops and I had bought a couple of things. I am not someone who enjoys going in every single shop and I hate spending entire days shopping but neither is he/he is the same
So yeah he told me I was boring, no fun, etc. On another occasion, I had been a bit confused because people I had sent messages to inviting them to hang out, hadn't been replying to me. During another argument, he told me he wasn't surprised because the messages were so boring. (They were just messages suggesting we hang out, what else can I say on them?! :s) However, one of the people has since replied to me and we are going to hang out soon.
He has told me stuff like I have no personality, I never 'let go', I don't bring anything new or interesting, again, I'm boring, I don't have a lot of knowledge, stuff like that.
I've gotten upset and sometimes been in tears when he's said stuff like this (but maybe I am over-sensitive), and he apologises sometimes. But other than this, he is often very nice, sweet etc. and we've been together for nearly 2 years, living together for quite a few months.
I am not particularly skilled in anything, but I enjoy many things: films, reading, exercise, music, art, etc. I don't drink (very occasionally) or smoke, and I live far from my friends now so I see them monthly/every couple of months. But I've started to make a friend where I'm living now, and I had another who had to move away.
The thing is, it hurts me a lot to be called boring so often. It makes me wonder why he is with me. I admit he is intelligent and has a lot of knowledge about films and stuff like that. I had decent A-Levels, a decent degree and I'm a teacher now, so I can't be that unintelligent surely? I talk about films, music, etc. I read the news every day and talk about what i've read. I ask him a lot of questions about his work, films, and the same subjects. I don't spend my whole time talking about myself, gossiping/bitching etc.
I try to get us to go to the cinema, exhibitions, stuff like that. I don't sit in the flat and refuse to go anywhere. I like to try new foods, and I like meeting new people.
I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I think everyone has a personality. I don't like every single thing he likes. I do spend a lot of time alone, but it's not really through choice. I admit that I may have social skills which are not great, and I can be a little quiet, but not with him. I try my best...
I get scared that he will meet a girl who is more 'interesting' at some point and maybe leave me.
But he tells me a lot that he loves me, he is affectionate, and we have a good laugh etc. This has just happened recently, in the last 2 months I'd say. I'd like to talk to him about it, but I'm scared of seeming too insecure and causing more argument.
Does anyone have any advice regarding how I could be more interesting, lively etc.?
Many thanks in advance.
I ask this because my boyfriend has told me I am boring on at least 5 occasions in the past few months.
When we first started talking etc. he told me he found conversations with me really interesting, and we used to talk for hours and hours so I never thought there was a problem. (We were also long-distance then)
Now we live together, and he has told me these things during arguments, or otherwise. The other day, we were shopping and for some reason he got annoyed at me just because I was saying that I needed to go to a cash machine. Then he started saying he wasn't enjoying the shopping trip with me, and I 'don't enjoy anything'. which is ridiculous, we had been in several shops and I had bought a couple of things. I am not someone who enjoys going in every single shop and I hate spending entire days shopping but neither is he/he is the same
So yeah he told me I was boring, no fun, etc. On another occasion, I had been a bit confused because people I had sent messages to inviting them to hang out, hadn't been replying to me. During another argument, he told me he wasn't surprised because the messages were so boring. (They were just messages suggesting we hang out, what else can I say on them?! :s) However, one of the people has since replied to me and we are going to hang out soon.
He has told me stuff like I have no personality, I never 'let go', I don't bring anything new or interesting, again, I'm boring, I don't have a lot of knowledge, stuff like that.
I've gotten upset and sometimes been in tears when he's said stuff like this (but maybe I am over-sensitive), and he apologises sometimes. But other than this, he is often very nice, sweet etc. and we've been together for nearly 2 years, living together for quite a few months.
I am not particularly skilled in anything, but I enjoy many things: films, reading, exercise, music, art, etc. I don't drink (very occasionally) or smoke, and I live far from my friends now so I see them monthly/every couple of months. But I've started to make a friend where I'm living now, and I had another who had to move away.
The thing is, it hurts me a lot to be called boring so often. It makes me wonder why he is with me. I admit he is intelligent and has a lot of knowledge about films and stuff like that. I had decent A-Levels, a decent degree and I'm a teacher now, so I can't be that unintelligent surely? I talk about films, music, etc. I read the news every day and talk about what i've read. I ask him a lot of questions about his work, films, and the same subjects. I don't spend my whole time talking about myself, gossiping/bitching etc.
I try to get us to go to the cinema, exhibitions, stuff like that. I don't sit in the flat and refuse to go anywhere. I like to try new foods, and I like meeting new people.
I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I think everyone has a personality. I don't like every single thing he likes. I do spend a lot of time alone, but it's not really through choice. I admit that I may have social skills which are not great, and I can be a little quiet, but not with him. I try my best...
I get scared that he will meet a girl who is more 'interesting' at some point and maybe leave me.
But he tells me a lot that he loves me, he is affectionate, and we have a good laugh etc. This has just happened recently, in the last 2 months I'd say. I'd like to talk to him about it, but I'm scared of seeming too insecure and causing more argument.
Does anyone have any advice regarding how I could be more interesting, lively etc.?
Many thanks in advance.
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