Firstly I would just like to make it clear, I know how stupid this is. And this isn't coming from a racist place at all and I truly believe people should be with whoever they want. Also, I have depression which probably is the main reason for my negative thought process. I had stopped my medications for a while but I've started again recently so it will take a while for it to take effect.
Recently I have started to become really insecure with myself. Moving on to my worries. I get really insecure when I see guys on my race (Indian as in from India) with girls of other races. Usually I see it going both ways meaning I see girls of my race with guys of other races just as much as guys of my race with girls of other races so it never used to bother me all that much. These days (over the past month or so) I see more guys of my race with girls of other races than the other way around. Esp. since there is this celebrity that seems to have a thing for girls of other races. And it hurts esp. because I have a bit of a crush on this celebrity. I know he's just a celeb and I have no chance but it still hurts. I know it is totally irrational. But I don't only see this with celebs I see it in real life too. And I basically take this as an automatic rejection (of me AND girls of other races). I feel like they just like girls of other races better than us. And girls of other races are overall just better than us which is silly.
I'm starting to obsess over it and get really bothered by it. This insecurity and the fear that this trend will continue is kind of taking over my mind. I absolutely HATE myself for getting bothered by this. I wish I could just ignore it or not even see colour and race when I see a couple you know? I wish I could somehow not even notice and not keep count of many couples I've seen of this combination than the other way around etc.
But the reality is it is bothering me. And I'm ashamed. I want to be able to not be hurt or bothered when I see guys on my race with girls of other races. Even if I never see girls of my race with guys of other races. I want to still able to feel confident and comfortable within myself and not let it affect my self-esteem so much. How do I do this? I am so scared I am going to BECOME racist if I keep thinking like this.
I try to distract myself but yesterday alone I saw 5 couples like this (Indian guy with non-indian girls). And today I thought ok I need to stop thinking like this so I decided to distract myself and go watch a movie with my friend and THERE I saw two more. Its like something just wants to prove me right. I dunno....
Indian girls on TSR, do you ever feel this way? Not so extreme as me but just a little bit? It wouldn't bother me if it was equal both ways.
Thanks
EDIT: I even hate having to make a thread like this on here because I KNOW some Indian guys will look at this and get an ego boost.
Also, from your observations, do you see more Indian guys with Non-Indian girls or Indian girls with Non-Indian guys?
Recently I have started to become really insecure with myself. Moving on to my worries. I get really insecure when I see guys on my race (Indian as in from India) with girls of other races. Usually I see it going both ways meaning I see girls of my race with guys of other races just as much as guys of my race with girls of other races so it never used to bother me all that much. These days (over the past month or so) I see more guys of my race with girls of other races than the other way around. Esp. since there is this celebrity that seems to have a thing for girls of other races. And it hurts esp. because I have a bit of a crush on this celebrity. I know he's just a celeb and I have no chance but it still hurts. I know it is totally irrational. But I don't only see this with celebs I see it in real life too. And I basically take this as an automatic rejection (of me AND girls of other races). I feel like they just like girls of other races better than us. And girls of other races are overall just better than us which is silly.
I'm starting to obsess over it and get really bothered by it. This insecurity and the fear that this trend will continue is kind of taking over my mind. I absolutely HATE myself for getting bothered by this. I wish I could just ignore it or not even see colour and race when I see a couple you know? I wish I could somehow not even notice and not keep count of many couples I've seen of this combination than the other way around etc.
But the reality is it is bothering me. And I'm ashamed. I want to be able to not be hurt or bothered when I see guys on my race with girls of other races. Even if I never see girls of my race with guys of other races. I want to still able to feel confident and comfortable within myself and not let it affect my self-esteem so much. How do I do this? I am so scared I am going to BECOME racist if I keep thinking like this.
I try to distract myself but yesterday alone I saw 5 couples like this (Indian guy with non-indian girls). And today I thought ok I need to stop thinking like this so I decided to distract myself and go watch a movie with my friend and THERE I saw two more. Its like something just wants to prove me right. I dunno....
Indian girls on TSR, do you ever feel this way? Not so extreme as me but just a little bit? It wouldn't bother me if it was equal both ways.
Thanks
EDIT: I even hate having to make a thread like this on here because I KNOW some Indian guys will look at this and get an ego boost.
Also, from your observations, do you see more Indian guys with Non-Indian girls or Indian girls with Non-Indian guys?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment