Update on my situation

I posted a month or two ago about my situation. I haven't posted in a while, so I figured I'd just update you guys on my situation a bit, since some of you guys helped me a lot. For those of you who do not know my situation, here is a very very quick and condensed summary: I am 20 and was dating a guy(younger) for almost 2 years. It slowly died out and we broke up in March of this year (it was 60% him and 40% me). I didn't handle the breakup well at all. I had a lot of depression and suicidal thoughts. I spent a month begging him to take me back. I alternated between ignoring him(because part of me wanted to move on) and talking to him(because part of me desperately wanted him back). I've been seeing a therapist throughout all of this (I've had depression issues since I was a kid, so I have a lot of personal problems to sort out within myself). The breakup was very difficult for me, emotionally. I just wanted to update you guys on my situation, and maybe this will help someone else who is having a hard time. Right now, I am in the middle of a 3 week "vacation". I train and compete in martial arts (this is my biggest hobby. Unfortunately, it's also my ex's biggest hobby and we see each other frequently). I decided to go away for 3 weeks to train with another martial arts school 6 hours away from where I live. It's only been 1.5 weeks so far, but this has really helped me move on a lot from my ex. I used to constantly think of my ex. Literally, ALL day. Now, I only think about my ex about 4-5 times a day. I know that might probably seem like a lot to you guys, but whenever I think about him now, my thoughts aren't "loaded with emotion". I feel much, much more at peace right now. I've been in therapy for a while, but I've only recently been truly examining myself. I've realized that I have a serious problem with my self image. I always pathetically seek out others approval, because I have never learned to give myself approval. This is exactly why I had such a difficult time with the breakup. It's not about my ex. I don't miss HIM. I miss having someone there to give me approval, but I don't miss HIM. There is a big difference. I think that we tend to get so used to our relationships, that a large portion of our horrible feelings after a breakup tend to stem from not having another person around us anymore, not so much losing that one specific person. I hope I'm making sense. Basically, what I'm saying is that I have used this time to truly work on myself. I think that my personal problems with relationships stem from my rocky relationship with my family. Specifically, my mother. That is something I am going to try and fix. I hope I helped someone who is having a hard time with a breakup. The best thing to do is take a couple weeks to yourself. Slowly, I am beginning to move on. This 3 week vacation is definitely helping me a lot. I still think about my ex, but my thoughts aren't charged with emotion anymore. He's becoming more and more of a distant memory in my mind.

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