Broke up with boyfriend - worst feeling ever

My boyfriend of 4 years dumped me on sunday evening. We had been arguing a bit but we were working through it and I thought we had something really special so it came as a complete shock to me. He'd apparently been thinking about it for months though. i feel so so awful. I pathetically fb messaged him today to see if there was any chance of getting back together and there isn't. He still wants to be friends but I don't think I can, at least not right now. I've deleted his number and his fb and almost anything that reminds me of him but that just makes me feel so upset, like our relationship never even happened. I've had to move back home to the middle of no where and I don't have any friends here or anything to do. I'll be stating postgraduate study in september but thats 3 months away. I don't know what to do until then, it's just me and my thougts. I know its only been two days and I'm obviously not going to feel great but half of the time i just can't stop crying and the rest I just feel horribly empty and depressed. Time feels like it's going so slowly, I just want every day to be over. I can't take feeling like this much longer. people say it can take months to get over a serious relationships but I can't take months of feeling like this. I have honestly thought about suicide because i just can't take it and I can't take feeling like is. I'd planned my whole life with him. He's all I've known my whole adult life, I don't know how to be alone and I'm terrified and lonely. Everything reminds me of him, our friends were all mutual and tbh more his than mine so I've got nobody pls can someone just give me some advice to feel better and get over this because I really don't see the light at the end of he tunnel right now

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