Boyfriend talked to me about my weight, and it really depressed me.

Hi all, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone last night and he brought up my weight and how I dress out of the blue. Now I can't get it off my mind and I really need some insight on what is "okay" and what is over stepping lines. Let me preface this by saying that yes, I'm over weight. I have been since I was little and I've been on diets just about as long. I KNOW how to lose weight but the environment I live in currently is so stressful and unhealthy that I know once I move out and am in a new environment things will work better. Right now I'm in culinary school (That cooks with lots of butter and cream) and at 28 am living with my parents again while I finish out school. My mom is crucially over weight and its affected her health to the point of crippling her. I will not let that happen to me, and feel the situation I live in is toxic. I've succeeded at losing weight but it piles right back on.. its difficult when you have to either cook every day or face the pizzas and take out food your parents order. I've done very well with cooking every day, but until I move out I wont have the time, or right environment to lose weight. I plan to move out in February or March and move in with my boyfriend, while he finishes out his school work. I've always held onto the fact that even though I may dislike how I look and feel, and even though the rest of the world judges me, I have a safe place with my boyfriend. We've had our issues, and I've actually posted some about it here. Well, last night we were talking and I was in a great mood, completely excited for moving out, feeling ina good place emotionally, and we were talking about the fact that when I move out, we will be able to see each other more. All of a sudden he says "I know when you move out, you'll have more money and be able to take care of yourself more." I paused and said "What? What do you mean?" He mumbled around a little, and I was thinking along the line of how I dressed. I am a shorts and tank top type of girl and I want comfort over vanity any day. He knows that, and he's poked fun a couple times but never showed any dislike for it. So when he says "well, like by nicer clothing and such." I think okay... I understand that, but I like my clothing! So I tell him "I hope you dont expect me to always dress up. I will not change how I dress" and he says "no, I mean... well, I've always been concerned with my appearance and I think you will be more concerned with yours once you move out. " I ask what he means by that, thinking he means my clothing (which is old, I haven't had money to buy new clothing so he's right. I'm a penny pincher) I say "Oh you mean like my old clothing? "well, that and getting in shape." .... really?! That stung. He knows my struggles with weight and he knows my self image problems. He also knows how much his opinion means to me and that I've always felt he was my safe place. He back peddled a little, realizing I wasn't taking this well. But it was too late. Now, I know he's concerned about my health. And I know that he's worried our life styles may not mesh, apparently. He told me so last night. But I dont sit like a bump on a log when I'm home, I'm just so busy that lately exercise is the LAST thing on my mind. Do I want to be fit? Of course! But when I'm taking care of my mother full time, cooking constantly at home and at school, the last thing I want to do after a long day is go to the gym. So my safe place is gone. He also said he's talked to his friend about how to talk to me, so I'm mortified now!! I'm supposed to see him this weekend, (he lives an hour and a half away, so we see each other every to every other weekend) and drive up to his place. I haven't seen him in a couple weekends, and I honestly have no desire to be around him. Am I over reacting? I feel like I should be okay with him telling me, and can't wrap my head around why I'm so hurt. I tried to explain to him why that hurt so much but he's got a way with words and I end up tripping over mine and confused. He was trying to be gentle about it, but I've always felt that if someones not happy with the way I look, then maybe they don't belong with me. I wasn't skinny when he met me, and I will not diet just for him. Will I lose weight and get into a solid routine once my parents arent interfering with my life? Yes, but I was intending too all along. I tried to tel him that I needed to know he was going to be with me no matter what. He kept saying "quit thinking so negatively, think you'll lose weight, not gain it back." I kept saying he missed the point, that I couldn't and wouldn't guarantee I'd be thin my whole life, after kids came along, a busy schedule started, middle age metabolism kicked in... and I needed to know he would be there for me regardless. Part of what he said was that he saw couples where one person was trying t keep themselves up, and the other person wasn't and those relationships never worked. I'm lost, and I need some help to figure out if I'm wrong to feel hurt and even more insecure about how I look. I'm not huge, but I'm not thin by any means. Help?

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