Road trip or no road trip?

Hi-. My family was invited to a kids resort by my parents. It is a 9 hr road trip to where my family lives and then we would drive from there. My husband doesnt want to go and doesnt have the vacation time. I told him I felt comfortable driving it alone with the kids and that he didn't have to go. (not meanly i jusst suggested it so he wouldnt feel like he had to use more of his time when he doesnt want to go in the first place). He got very upset thought this would be hugely unsafe since my 3 kids are all under 10 youngest is almost 4. that i shouldnt be doing such a long drive without another adult. We have made this drive as a family at least 20 times i feel very familiar with it. I was going to cancel our reservation but my sibling volunteered to fly down to ride up and back with me. I thought my husband was only upset that it would be just me alone driving the kids then he hit the roof and became angry that i would go at all even tho ugh i had another adult with me. we have been fighting alot over this because I really wanted to go. Then he said in one of our arguments "You are an adult you make your own decisions i dont sanction this trip ATALL but i cant hold you back because you have it all planned out with another adult to go so what can i say? but if anything at all happens our marriage is over and i cant tell you how i'll feel when you get back either way." He was yelling. He feels that i am being selfish that all i want to do is be traveling to visit my family. we already have a summer trip planned with a sibling (my family) and usually go up around the winter holidays but not ON the holiday so iguess we travel to see my family 2x a year. he also wanted to attend his high school reunion. I will admit that i miss my family alot and i will jump at the chance to see them whenever we can. We dont have any family here but do have good friends. I also feel like he is being a bit extreme with his wo rry and needs to let me be independent. I have never taken a vacation by myself with the kids. I have only gone away myself when i had to attend a relatives funeral. I have never even taken the kids into the city to visit because he is really anxious for them to be on public transportation. He is not close with his family. Las t week i grudgingly consented not to go but since then I have been crying off and on and I still havent cancelled the trip because i keep hoping he will change his mind or at least say "Go but be safe." I feel like if i go i am basically signing off on divorce papers. I realized that he is very anxious about being away from the kids or them being where he doesn't feel in control. It seems extreme though. These are the worst fights we have ever had in our marriage This year has been a difficult year for me in that i quit my job to be at home and trying to find my way. I've been somewhat sad and moody at times. he says he's done talking about it an ymore. Although weve been married over 10 yrs our communication is not the greatest and he only found out about the trip when we were about to make reservations knowing we could cancel if we didn't go so for that i take the blame. but i only told him when I myself found out the exact dates even though I was aware it was something my parents were thinking of doing. Do I cancel or just go? Many of my friends say i need to just go for me as well as so that the kids can visit family and build relationships as well as see that I am competent in taking care of them and Daddy doesnt always have to be there for them to still be safe. Thanks for your help. I just wanted to hear unbiased thoughts from people who dont have connections to either of us.

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