What to do

Hi, I'm new and this is my first time posting. I found this forum by accident this weekend trying to understand the continuous stream of lies I'm told when trying to get to the truth. A bit of a backstory. I found out about his affair Dec 31st 2012... Yup, this past New Years Eve. We had just been married a little over a year. He had brought home his work computer and needed to close out the year's final transactions - and that's when I saw a familiar name (an ex of his) in his work email and was able to forward it on to myself before he intercepted and deleted everything else. The things I read in that email I will never be able to forget. She calling him "Daddy" and the sick sexual fantasy world the two of them had going on. He swore to me it was only emails, that nothing sexual / physical had ever gone on between the two of them since we've been together. He swore it was only for the past couple of months that this has been going on. He cried, he begged, he pleaded and swore to God. I kicked him out that night, changed the locks and filed for divorce January 2nd. I told him I was going to speak to her (the OW - is that how I'm supposed to say it??) and I did. At first she swore nothing physical had gone on as well. But that he and she had been going on like this for at least 1 1/2 - 2 yrs. That it had always been "you, me and him". She forwarded me many, many emails between her and him dating back from the time he and I were engaged. Him always suggesting they meet up. During this time my husband was still very upset, calling, begging for forgiveness, swearing nothing happened. He apologized to my family too and swore nothing physical had gone on it was just a bunch of sex talk through emails. Thing is, that rational part of me would not believe that they could be in regular contact for 2 years, him suggesting they hook up, and and not have gotten together. So I lied to him. I called him and told him I had just spoken to the OW again, that she told me and that I wanted to hear everything from him. He started crying, begged me not to make him do this and then he told me. The first time was the night before our wedding while I was with my mother and maid of honor - separated the night before the wedding from my groom - as tradition goes. Ouch. That one stung and stung hard. I have never cried as hard as I did after hearing that. A soul crushing wail escaped from me that I didn't know I was even capable of making. The second was after we were married. He wanted to show her his new car, and get some head - but wasn't able to finish because there were people around. That's it - he swore. There's no more to tell, he said, and that I knew everything. That he loved me, would never lie or hurt me again. And stupid me, I believed him. We started marriage counseling almost immediately. Marriage counselor said that my husband truly shows remorse and that he thinks he's learned from the total devastation he's caused and that the two of us have alot to work with. He made it quite clear to my husband many times that the ENTIRE truth must be out for us to move on and to heal. That full disclosure was a must in this situation and my husband agreed and promised that everything there was to tell was out on the table. And I believed him. Silly me. The past 3 1/2 months things have been going so much better between us. I had even told him that I forgave him and dropped the divorce proceedings. He promised, swore on everything that he could never put me through the pain and hurt again and that he was going to be an honest, faithful husband. Until yesterday, when looking at our wedding pictures triggered something in me and we had another discussion regarding the affairs and he slipped. Another lie. I caught him in yet another lie regarding the details of everything he's told me. I started yelling and today told him that I wanted to hear all of it (not that I haven't said this a million times before only to be told I know everything) and this was his response: "There is one other thing that I may have not told you. The time we went to lunch at the Chinese place, I did kiss her goodbye, and felt her up a little. It was the first time we did anything like that after you and I got married. I did plan on figuring out a way to have sex with her, but it never happened. I DID NOT have sex with her any of the times. I'm so willing to get a lie detector test to prove to you that it is all the truth, and what I'm telling you is truly everything. " Okay, so now that's 3 PA's that he's admitting to. And once again more lies. I just feel so stupid. That even after everything I tried to trust him again by believing all was feeding me and he was still LYING. The kicker is, before all of this was found out we decided to have a home built and have put sizeable down payments (earnest money) in the home. I called today and if I don't cancel the home by tomorrow we will lose another $5000... I'm totally at a loss on how to proceed. He keeps crying saying he loves me and to give him YET ANOTHER chance that he won't lie anymore - blah blah blah. I so want to believe him but his history has proven to me that I can't I know he loves me - but how do we ever move beyond this??? I thought marriage counseling was helping and yes, things were starting to get better, until more of the truth was revealed... Do I call it right now, cancel the house, file for another divorce and move on??? Do these lies ever stop??? How do I move past this when the ONE time I needed him to be honest with me to help me heal he couldn't even disclose the entire truth. Sorry so long, but I've been bottling this up for so long and just so glad I found this site as many of you seem to have very similar stories and hopefully I can gain some insite...

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