Dealing with his childs mother....HELP!

Me and my husband have been married since sept. I have always had issues with the mother, not so much on my part but she hates my guts and is determined to do anything she can to come between us. My husband knows this. Ive been over her disrespect of me and our relationship. I cant not count how many times i have asked my husband to put her in his place. I have no problem doing it myself i just feel like it would make the situation worst. Well to get to the problem at hand. He allowed her to move to alabama with his daughter(we live in ny) but he never went to court to get the custody arrangement fixed. It has been 8months since he has seen her, we paid for her mother to bring her here in aug. since he never went back to court the arrangements to see her are all on her mothers terms. she has been constantly asking him when he is goin to come there to see where they live etc. Now financially we cannot afford to just up and go with out sitting down and planning it. The Problem: about a month ago i came across some emails from her to him with flight arrangements for him to come there.(shes paying for flights a hotel and im guessing a rental) I was furious. confronting him about it, his excuse is that she did it on her own and did not talk about it with him. Whether i believe that or not is not important, why didnt my husband handle it right then and there and tell her that it was inappropriate and that he would discuss it with his wife when WE as a family would be able to make a trip. I tried to explain my frustrations to him and i got no where. So i asked if i could just buy flight tickets for myself and his other daughter could we just go as a family. his answer was "i think i should go by myself" because he doesnt want any drama. which means he doesnt want her to be upset that his wife and other child is there and not let him see the baby. I didnt know what to say, why is he not putting her in her place and standing up for his wife.How could he not see how inappropriate this is. That was 3 weeks ago. we had 2weeks of not talking at all which ended in us almost giving up on our marriage, but i want to fight for us. Today i asked him if he could just wait a couple of weeks, that i would have the money and we could go as a family. He told me no and that i need to let it go and that he is going next week, basically despite my feelings about the situation.I dont know what to do, i want to fight for my marriage but i feel extrememely disrespected and betrayed and he doesnt seem to care. HELP i dont know what to do, am i tripping?

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