Give up or keep fighting?

My wife and I got married in summer 2009, initially I thought everything was fine but over the summer things deteriorated and we ended up going to marriage counselling in the autumn. This was helpful and it identified a number of things that I was doing (not through any malice) that were making my wife depressed – as the marriage counsellor pointed out my own parents marriage didn't give the best frame of reference (e.g. I thought just zoning out in front of the telly after work was fine rather than having indepth conversations). Having identified these things I made a number of changes over the course of a few months and to be honest we grew to be much better friends, however we weren't kissing let alone anything more. Unfortunately my wife was still depressed and getting more so, partly no doubt as she could see how upset I was about the situation (lots of deep depressing conversations) so she moved out into a flat that we own (never sold after we brought our house as it needed decorating and by the time it came to sell it we were in this position). We agreed that we'd see each other a couple of times a week but not discuss our relationship for two months. The dates went ok but we were pretty much as friends (peck on the lips at most). Two months is now up, her depression seems to have lessened (tho her work is very stressful at the moment) and after a couple of weekends of chats she's told me that she thinks divorce is the only answer. The primary reasons seem to be that she doesn't love me anymore, doesn't believe there is any way that these feelings can come back and doesn't want to spend her life with someone as a friend. She also said it was unfair to lead me on. I've countered saying that we're good friends and that should be a good basis, that we both believe divorce isn't a good thing to do (both Christians – please don't take that as a judgement on anyone else's situation) and that she was in love we me once and since i've stopped the things that upset her (and demonstrated such for the past 5 months) in time she can again. Unsurprisingly that didn't get anywhere – I even suggested pretending to act as a married couple and seeing if the feelings come back, but she says that would be false. I'm at a loss about what to do. I've told her I'm going to keep fighting, she's said fine, and I don't think the papers are going to drop on the doormat imminently. We're still going to see each other once a week and then at church – most of friends don't know (esp those that live near us – they all think we still live in the same house). Intellectually i think we can both see the reasons why we ended up where we are and that those reasons have now largely been resolved – the problem is that during the process we became friends, at least on her side. What do I do? Give up? Or keep fighting? How do I make her see me as her husband not as her friend? Apologies for the length, thankyou for reading. It feels cathartic to get it out.

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