A Fake Felony

This is my first post. I searched the forum, not to mention the internet, for something like this so I can relate to someone but I'm not finding anything. I'm married to a sex offender, but he's a fake sex offender. It's a long story with a number of lies, lack of evidence, zero consistency. It was a real wake up call into the court system. Now I know how this sounds. And I'm not here to convince anyone, but just assume he's innocent and put yourself in our shoes. The court system being what it is, and the statistics being what they are, he accepted a plea bargain rather than spend the rest of his life in jail. He spent a very short time in prison and was released early. This entire ordeal was obviously emotionally devastating. An atomic bomb in our lives that has since steered everything without consideration for our choices. PTSD left and right. Fearful of strangers, fearful of kids, fearful of teens, fearful of cops, judges, lawyers, strange cars we don't recognize, fearful of going in public, fearful of meeting new people, the list goes on and on. Life has been a nightmare. All the things associated with being a sex offender are horrific and real. Sure, yeah, there are people who absolutely deserve it. Their lives should be a living hell. It would've been easier for me to leave even though I believe he's innocent. But I cannot abandon someone I've loved over a decade. The aftermath is severe. Financial devastation. Embarrassment. Resentment. The not so mutual decision to not have children. The fear, worry, anxiety all that. A stew of hell. And here is the newest one, and what made me decide to post on this forum - a lack of respect. He hasn't had a job, and hasn't made any kind of good-faith effort to find one. He cannot work in the field he was in. He can't get really many kinds of jobs anymore. I am resentful. I am losing respect. I know he went through hell, and I have not been rushing anything. However, I feel like 'it's not fair' (such a whiny statement!) that I am expected to shoulder everything financially for years now. I flat out told him that "this is going to destroy our relationship" but that had no effect. I have been very blunt. I either get no response or a martyrdom type response. I really don't know what to do. I mean, for my part, I have taken on extra work. I feel guilty if I buy something "frivolous" but it's not b/c he makes me feel that way. He seems entirely happy living off my dime, asking me for money. I mean, he says he doesn't like to, but he hasn't done anything about changing it! He's got this little side business he's working on but that is really not a sure thing and it sure isn't doing anything now. I come home from work and nothing is done. No housework, no yardwork, minimal maintenance. I just resent, resent, resent it. Life sucks.

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