Hi, I'm Italian, forgive any mistake.
I'd like to ask you one thing.
Me and my ex live in 2 different cities, not very far.
He comes to my city for his sports 5 times a week.
We could meet once a week, occasionally twice.
My partner left because I don't like a couple of his friends.
He has other friends, boys and girls, I quite enjoy them, they were nice and never bossy.
This couple of his friends was very clingy. In 8 months, I only interacted with the female, because the guy was abroad.
The guy is clingy but a nice guy, no goal in life, I don't like him, but I can bear him.
The girl was too flirty with my boyfriend, too clingy, no goal in life.
she invited my ex alone with some people to a MOTEL last year.
she asked him in front of me to go out with her 3 times in 1 hour.
she followed us when we told her to leave us alone.
and I found her stupid overall.
The thing is: I'm a good professional, a good person, nice look. I'm not perfect.
My ex is a very nice guy, I find him very attractive, very intelligent, and he's about to lose his job. (stressful situation)
I made many mistakes pursuing my ex boyfriend.
But I honestly feel the relationship should be saved.
That's the slippery slope: one day me and my boyfriend arranged to go out alone, the other couple phoned, asked him to go to their house at night.
he told me via sms.. and I asked him
"if they interfere in our plans today, why do you want to be this guy's groomsman?
I let you go with them when you tell me in advance. Because you know I don't follow you with them.
But do you think of getting involved for your whole life with this couple??"
He told me to give him space.
I didn't contact him for 2 days.
Then repeated to give space 2 days later.
I didn't understand when we could meet… I asked him to come to some concert.
Then we broke up, he told me several times during this days only via sms
"Don't want to see you, that's the end, understand it"
I told him he can't get rid of me via sms, that we have to speak, explain what went wrong, let me adjust something, and let him adjust something if he can… Which was not compulsory, but advisable.
Anyway I offered to make some adjustments myself.
The answer was "No"
What can I do?
I have my own hobbies, work, friends. But I completely changed my habits for him, and mostly go out with female friends alone.
Few times I go out with male friends or mixed groups.
I work with male and females.
But I don't think it's necessary to go out with men he doesn't like …alone or with him.
I didn't care if he went out with other girls, or mixed groups.
just not that girl ! :)
So I was jealous of that girl, she envied me.
I think a partner shouldn't make the other suffer, if the other is not crazy.
What can I do ??
I feel he is not going to give up on this couple, but I thought I could ask him not to be the groomsman, go as a guest, go out with them for a coffee, a pizza..
sometimes.
I felt it was not necessary to try to put chains forever on him, asking to be a groomsman.
He should have felt very limited by my question, so he retreated completely.
What can I tell him?
I welcome every feedback, but I hope one professional can answer me as well
I'd like to ask you one thing.
Me and my ex live in 2 different cities, not very far.
He comes to my city for his sports 5 times a week.
We could meet once a week, occasionally twice.
My partner left because I don't like a couple of his friends.
He has other friends, boys and girls, I quite enjoy them, they were nice and never bossy.
This couple of his friends was very clingy. In 8 months, I only interacted with the female, because the guy was abroad.
The guy is clingy but a nice guy, no goal in life, I don't like him, but I can bear him.
The girl was too flirty with my boyfriend, too clingy, no goal in life.
she invited my ex alone with some people to a MOTEL last year.
she asked him in front of me to go out with her 3 times in 1 hour.
she followed us when we told her to leave us alone.
and I found her stupid overall.
The thing is: I'm a good professional, a good person, nice look. I'm not perfect.
My ex is a very nice guy, I find him very attractive, very intelligent, and he's about to lose his job. (stressful situation)
I made many mistakes pursuing my ex boyfriend.
But I honestly feel the relationship should be saved.
That's the slippery slope: one day me and my boyfriend arranged to go out alone, the other couple phoned, asked him to go to their house at night.
he told me via sms.. and I asked him
"if they interfere in our plans today, why do you want to be this guy's groomsman?
I let you go with them when you tell me in advance. Because you know I don't follow you with them.
But do you think of getting involved for your whole life with this couple??"
He told me to give him space.
I didn't contact him for 2 days.
Then repeated to give space 2 days later.
I didn't understand when we could meet… I asked him to come to some concert.
Then we broke up, he told me several times during this days only via sms
"Don't want to see you, that's the end, understand it"
I told him he can't get rid of me via sms, that we have to speak, explain what went wrong, let me adjust something, and let him adjust something if he can… Which was not compulsory, but advisable.
Anyway I offered to make some adjustments myself.
The answer was "No"
What can I do?
I have my own hobbies, work, friends. But I completely changed my habits for him, and mostly go out with female friends alone.
Few times I go out with male friends or mixed groups.
I work with male and females.
But I don't think it's necessary to go out with men he doesn't like …alone or with him.
I didn't care if he went out with other girls, or mixed groups.
just not that girl ! :)
So I was jealous of that girl, she envied me.
I think a partner shouldn't make the other suffer, if the other is not crazy.
What can I do ??
I feel he is not going to give up on this couple, but I thought I could ask him not to be the groomsman, go as a guest, go out with them for a coffee, a pizza..
sometimes.
I felt it was not necessary to try to put chains forever on him, asking to be a groomsman.
He should have felt very limited by my question, so he retreated completely.
What can I tell him?
I welcome every feedback, but I hope one professional can answer me as well
Put the internet to work for you.
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